Coming In
by MyTwiDreams
Summary: Bella, a woman who never managed to tell anyone about her orientation, meets Alice in a gay club. The attraction is instantly there but will it be enough for Bella to overcome her fears to come out? Femslash/AH/Bellice/
1. I can't think straight

[Disclaimer] SM owns everything Twilight; I just borrow her characters to have some fun. Maybe one day, I'll have my own characters to play with. Wouldn't that be awesome?

[A/N] I wrote this story as a one-shot but figured out that I'd like to explore the subject of Coming Out a little deeper. Don't expect too much, because I don't know where I'm going to take this. Creativity is a crazy thing and you never know where it goes...

****I can't think straight****

I sipped on the white wine in front of me, desperately trying to look as if I belonged into this place, when sure as hell I knew that I didn't. My hands grabbed around the plastic cup. Jeez, they served wine in plastic cups. When was the last time you drank wine out of a cup instead of a glass? Was that on college maybe?

It was cold inside the club and I wished that I had chosen to wear jeans and a sweater instead of the dress. I pulled the tiny mirror out of my handbag and checked my reflection. My makeup was okay, although I should probably have put on some more concealer. The dark circles under my eyes were still visible.

"You're pretty vain, aren't you?" a light voice next to me asked me, making me drop the entire content of my bag on the floor.

I kneeled down to grab it again, thankful for the long curtain of my hair that would hopefully manage to hide my embarrassed blush.

"I didn't startle you, did I?" the voice asked again and after taking a deep breath I finally dared to look up to see to whom the bell-like voice belonged.

She had short hair that was arranged into messy spikes with a lot of hairspray. Her pale skin formed a beautiful contrast to the ruby colored top she was wearing and when a wave of the cold wind reached us from the opening door her nipples pebbled under the thin layer of fabric.

I forced myself to look at her face, knowing that it would be completely rude and inappropriate to keep starring at her breasts for too long.

She stood up from her chair, leaning down to help me grab the dozens of tiny items. Yes, I carry one of those bags, that you could spontaneously leave the country with, around me all the time.

It's embarrassing and being here is even more embarrassing. Damn it, what the hell do you think you're doing here, Isabella?

"Sorry," the dark haired girl whispered. She handed me my cell and I stuffed it back quickly before I stood up again.

"I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." she continued after a few awkward moments of silence, taking a sip from the bottle of diet coke in front of her. I wondered how old she was. She wasn't drinking, that probably meant she's underage. No that couldn't be, could it?

"Aren't you going to talk to me? It would really help to improve this conversation if you would make a verbal response to what I'm saying."

"Conversation?" I managed to croak out hoarsely. God, I'm sounding like a complete idiot.

"When two people talk that's usually called a conversation. Look, if I'm not your type, you can just tell me and I leave you alone. It's just that…,"

"Your type?"

Her mouth curved into a smile, exposing a row of milky-white teeth. She took another sip from the bottle in front of her, while her eyes, their color a brown that was a few shades lighter than mine, moved up and down my body.

"Yes, you're my type, apart from your lack of verbal abilities."

"Sorry," I mumbled so low that my voice is barely audible.

"I'm just so nervous and I don't really know what to say. I've never been to a place like this."

"That's your first time in a gay club, really? And how do you like it so far?"

I sighed and emptied the cup of wine, before I twisted my hair into a knot at the back of my neck.

"Honestly? I don't know what came over me tonight, but I don't feel like I belong here. This is not who I am."

"Probably because this is the crappiest club that you could have chosen for your...," she seemed to hesitate for a moment.

"…for your coming out,"

"Coming out? I don't need a stupid coming out." My voice raised two octaves, sounding way to shrill now in my own ears.

"Yeah, I get it. You're straight and you're only here to do some research for a _good_ friend, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not. My friends don't know that I'm here tonight."

"Do you think, they would mind?"

"Yes, no…I don't really know. Look, I'm not some homophobic nerd, it's just…I am not _that _way."

She leaned over to me, her cool breathe tickling the exposed skin on my neck. I lowered my head what turned out to be a stupid idea for my eyes starred straight into her cleavage, giving me just enough sight of the black lace bra she was wearing underneath her shirt. It was enough to soak my panties; that and the thought of running my tongue over the edges of the thin material. Oh right, Isabella, keep telling yourself that you're not _that_ way.

"So you're not t_hat_ way." she whispered into my ear, before she leaned back again.

"I'm not that way." I repeat halfheartedly, biting my lower lip nervously.

"It's okay, you know…to have these feelings about other women. I bet you've fantasized about being with one for weeks, haven't you?"

Weeks? More like years…God, I'm so pathetic. What in heaven's name is wrong with me?

"Having fantasies about other women doesn't make me a lesbian."

"And would that be a bad thing if it did? Call yourself curious, call yourself bi or call yourself a dyke. Whatever you call your desires, it doesn't change who you are. It doesn't change you, because whatever name you put on your orientation, your body language shows it pretty well that you hunger for my touch. That your body craves the pleasures I can give it."

I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly felt too dry to speak and I reached for the cup, realizing that it was empty when I tried to take a sip.

She chuckled and shoved her bottle over to me. The coke was lukewarm and the artificial sugar in it left a bitter aftertaste in my mouth.

"Can I buy you another drink?"

"No, thanks, I should better leave now, it's already late."

"Is your husband waiting for you at home?"

Why does her voice sound so hurt now? Does she think I came here to cheat on someone? Damn it, Isabella, it doesn't matter at all what she thinks or doesn't think. You won't see her again – ever.

"I don't have a husband or a boyfriend or a…girlfriend."

"Neither have I." she told me cheerfully, before she pulled out a chapstick that made her full lips shine in the awful neon light that surrounded us.

"So, since you and I are both…not bound to anyone else, we could leave this lame excuse of a club and make the best of the rest of this night."

I didn't know if it was the wine or the fact that something like an electric current went through my entire body when her leg brushed against my bare thigh but somehow I managed to nod my head in response.

When we walked over the parking lot I realized how small she was, small and breakable and yet way stronger than I would possibly ever be.

"Wait," she told me when I fumbled for the car keys in the depth of my handbag.

"There is something that I need to do before we…," she whispered, putting he arms around my neck. It was the first time she touched me on purpose and I couldn't help but smile at the thought.

What a weird situation. What a weird night. What a…

My inner monologue was suddenly silenced by the feeling of her warm mouth on mine. I gasped, more in surprise than for air but she nonetheless used the opportunity to plug her tongue into my mouth. For a split second I stiffened, this was new and I didn't have a clue what she expected me to do now. Then the part of my brain that was usually responsible for my actions went on standby modus. I stopped thinking, thinking had no place here. This was all about feeling…and tasting. God, she tasted sweet, like coke and strawberry chapstick and light. She tasted so light and the way her lips moved with mine was so light. Her hands moved down my back, while I nudged the tip of my tongue against her plump bottom lip. It felt smooth like velvet underneath it.

So this is it how it feels like to kiss a woman?

She pulled back, much too soon for my liking. I didn't want her to stop kissing me. I didn't want to stop kissing her.

"Your place or mine?" she whispered, moving her hand up my bare forearms.

People don't actually use that line anymore, do they? Damn it, it doesn't matter. You should just answer her question, Isabella. Your place? Definitely not, what would Charlie think if I showed up in the middle of the night with a girl? No, he wouldn't think anything bad about that because she's a girl. But still…

"Bella?"

I raised one eyebrow, when she called me by my name and realized that I didn't have a clue what hers was. How did she know mine?

"How do you know my name?" I asked her, holding my breath when her dainty fingertips reached the sensitive spot right beneath my hairline.

"It's on your key ring."

"Oh, I see. Do you want to tell me yours?" I whispered, leaning back against the hood of the car.

She smiled again, and there was something about the way her lips twitched into that smile that made me melt from the inside out.

"My name is Alice."

"Like Alice in Wonderland?"

She giggled.

"Welcome to the other side of the looking glass, Bella."

With that she kissed me again. This time I didn't hesitate to response, my tongue nudged against hers and a low moan escaped my throat when she sucked my upper lip between her teeth to nibble on it.

"Your place or mine?" she whispered against my trembling mouth when she pulled back again. Her lips moved down my collarbone, leaving a trail of invisible flames wherever her mouth touched my skin.

Somehow I managed to open the door of the car and sat down on the passenger's seat.

Without thinking what I was doing I pulled her on my lap. She giggled and cupped my face between her hands.

"The car? You want to do it in the car; never thought that you'd be _that_ type of girl."

"I don't really know what kind of girl, I'm supposed to be." I told her, fighting the urge to bury my face between her breasts. I bet her soft skin tastes salty on my tongue. Damn it, Isabella, try to act like you're not a complete moron who has no clue what is okay to do or not.

"You can be any kind of girl that you want to be, Bella."

"Which kind of girl do you want me to be?" I asked her, reaching out my hand to stroke over the exposed skin on her flat stomach.

"One that gives into what she needs to be happy…emotionally…physically…or however."

"Alice, I've already told you that…,"

"Shh," she whispered, putting a finger against my lips to silence me.

Her other hand moved between my thighs, where I was already slick and warm. My body is such a traitor, he knows all the secrets of my heart, all my longings, all my desires and he was responding to her touch, making it obvious that I wanted her in a way that I shouldn't want her.

Her fingertips stroked over the cotton fabric of my panties and I wondered what she was going to think when she felt how damp the thin material already was.

She kissed my mouth again, exploring the inside of it tenderly while her fingers rubbed up and down my slit in feather light movements.

"Touch me, Bella." She whispered hoarsely, guiding my hands to her breasts. I cupped them into my palms. They were small but perfectly shaped and when I pulled down her shirt to feel them without any clothing the tiny nubs hardened instantly under my caress.

I leaned forward to suckle one of the tips like a hungry infant while her hand moved under my ruined underwear.

"So wet, so incredibly warm and wet." she murmured against the crock of my neck while I pressed my lips against each other to keep me from moaning out like a whore.

Her thumb circled over the tiny pearl above my entrance before she dipped two of her fingers into my wetness.

"You thought about that before, didn't you? How it would feel like to be touched by another woman like that."

I nodded my head and whimpered slightly when she started pumping her fingers in and out of my entrance in a painfully slow rhythm.

"Tell me. Did you ever touch yourself, when you did that? Did you made yourself come while you thought about the way how a tongue would explore every single fold between your legs, licking up every drop of your essence?"

"Yes," I confessed, wondering if she would be able to hear me speak at all.

She lowered her head and disappeared underneath my dress. I held my breath when I felt the tip of her tongue against my swollen, overheated flesh. Then she licked over the throbbing pearl of my clit and I cried out in pleasure, bucking my hips against her tongue that continued circling up and down my slick folds.

My hands twisted into the spikey curls of her hair, as if I was afraid that she would suddenly pull back from me. It didn't happen. Instead she curled the fingers inside of me, rubbing them against the sensitive spot deep inside of me. My entire body went ridged, my toes curled and then finally, finally the sweet release of my climax washed over me, slowly at first but then way stronger than I had ever felt it before.

"Beautiful." she whispered when she raised her head again, to plant open mouthed kisses all over my collarbone.

"You're gorgeous."

Her mouth found mine again, letting me taste the tartness of my own lust. No, it wasn't really tart, more like sweet…or no, it was tart, the sweet component in it was her. Or it wasn't? Maybe somehow in a wondrously way they had melted into one.


	2. High Art

[Disclaimer] Last time I checked SM isn't planning on giving up her rights on the Twilight Saga.

****High Art****

"You look tired." Charlie stated, adding another spoon of sugar into his coffee before he sipped on it.

"Hmm," I mumbled, nibbling halfheartedly on the piece of dry toast in front of me. Why the hell didn't we have some peanut butter for breakfast when I wanted to eat some?

"Do you think that it was a good idea to go out on a week day?"

"Cha…Dad, I just had a glass of wine in a bar and just for the record, it wasn't that late."

Jeez, he made me feel like a stupid teenager instead of a grown-up woman who was close to her thirties.

"Bella, I don't mind you going out to have some fun. You'll never find a nice boyfriend if you spend all your nights reading these cheesy novels in your bedroom."

I stood up from my chair and rinsed my plate under the faucet.

"You start sounding like Renee. I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now." Or any other time, I added in my head.

I wondered how Charlie would react if I would tell him about last night. Not about the part in the car of course, that would probably give a heart attack. My heartbeat quickened instantly when I remembered the feeling of her warm lips slowly kissing up the inside of my thighs. Damn it, reality had been better than any of my fantasies had ever been.

"Bella?"

"Yes, Ch…Dad?"

"Are you feeling well? Your face is all red."

"Hmm, it's just a little warm inside here. Didn't you tell me that you wanted to install air-conditioning in the house?"

"A man with limited financial possibilities has to measure where he spends his money on. The flat screen is useful the entire year and I would only have benefited from the air-conditioning during the summer."

Whatever it is that you dare to call a summer in this gloomy little town…

"Who's A.C.?" he asked me suddenly, pointing to the small ink heart that was painted on the pale skin of my left wrist.

"No one." I croaked out, pulling down the sleeve of my shirt to hide it from him.

"You blush because of no one? Must be an interesting young gentleman this Mr. No-one."

"There is no Mr. No-one." I mumbled between gritted teeth, hoping desperately that he would soon lose his interest on the subject.

"I have to go now, Bella." he stated, standing up from his chair that squeaked slightly underneath him

"Be careful."

"Always am."

He smirked and I couldn't help but smile back. This was our little routine. We did this every morning since I had been five and had been a hundred percent convinced that I would never find a guy whom I could like as much as my dad. Now, almost twenty-five years later, I still hadn't met him and I highly doubted that I would. Every guy was still a guy after all…

As soon as Charlie had left the kitchen I checked the number she had written underneath her initials to save it into my ancient cell.

Then I tried to decide how long I should wait until I could text her without sounding like some desperate loser. It was Tuesday and after two cups of coffee with caramel syrup I had finally come up with the plan that Thursday would be the perfect day to get in contact again.

Unfortunately Thursday was still 47 hours away when I sat down on the couch after cleaning the house.

Damn it, why couldn't time move faster? Then I wondered if it could be possible that she expected me to call her today? I had no clue how these things worked between le…well, between women. What if she would be pissed at me for not calling as soon as I figured out she had given me her number?

I figured out that it was worse to make her angry – possibly - than to seem like a complete loser –definitely.

My hands were trembling when I dialed the number, hoping that my voice wouldn't crack like it almost did it every time when I was nervous.

"Hello?"

Say something.

"Hello?"

Damn it, Isabella, say something or hang up.

"Hi, you probably don't remember who I am but you…gave...me your number."

She chuckled and her laughter reminded me of a little bell.

"Bella? I didn't expect you to call that soon."

Earth, please open up underneath me and swallow me whole.

"I'm sorry." I croaked out after an awkward moment of silence.

"For what?"

For embarrassing myself to death, I thought while my mouth suddenly felt too dry to speak.

She cleared her throat before she spoke up again.

"You don't have to be sorry. It's nice that you called me. Did you sleep well?"

"Not really, but that's normal for me."

"That's too bad. I sleep like a baby when no one is there to keep me awake."

"Hmm,"

"What are you wearing right now?"

Jeez, what kind of question was that?

"Ahm, clothes." I stumbled out, knowing that the word sweatpants wouldn't sound sexy to her. Sexy? God, Isabella, you're really about to lose it right now, aren't you?"

"I kind of assumed that you wouldn't dress in loincloth or stuff like that."

"Sorry, you must be thinking that I'm really weird." Let's face it, Isabella. You are weird.

"You're nervous, aren't you?"

"A little bit." Or a little bit more.

"That's cute, but completely unnecessary."

"I shouldn't have called you today. Not without thinking about what to say to you before I called."

"You really have problems with conversation, haven't you? There is no reason to be nervous. I won't eat you…although I have to admit that the idea is tempting. You taste good."

Can my face stay that way when I blush too often?

"Thanks," I croaked out, cursing myself for the insecure trembling in my voice.

"You're welcome. Look, I should probably wait for you to ask me, but concerning your issues that you have with talking to people…,"

"Not people. That's just you. I'm usually pretty good with words."

**XXXX**

You're wearing too much makeup; I thought when I checked my reflection in the driving mirror of my car.

Nervously I entered the small café she had suggested for our...I barely dared to think the word…date. God, I'm actually going on a date with another woman.

She stood up from her chair and waved her hand at me. My cheeks turned instantly warm again when she planted a kiss on them with her soft lips.

For a split second I wondered if would kiss me on the mouth now and panicked. Not because the thought wasn't tempting, for it was, but because I didn't want to be seen kissing with a woman. What would people think of me?

"Hello, Bella." she greeted me cheerfully and handed me a pink colored lily blossom.

"Thanks," I whispered, putting the flower to my nose to inhale its intoxicating scent.

Should I have brought her some flowers too? Jeez, it was so difficult for me to figure out what I should do. She would probably soon lose interest in me. Who on earth was interested in seeing someone who didn't even know the basics about lesbian dating rules.

"Can I buy you a drink, Sugar?" A baby-faced guy with messy blond hair asked her after we sat down.

"No, you can't. I'm not interested."

"Arrogant bitch." He snarled before he turned around and I suppressed a giggle when she stuck out her tongue like a five-year-old.

"Does that happen to you a lot?"

"You mean that men are trying to flirt with me?"

I nodded my head.

"Must be difficult for you, I guess. I mean, because you're…_that_ way."

"Are you afraid that something terribly bad will happen if you use the word gay?"

"No, of course not,"

"How long did you know?"

"How long did I know what?"

Her mouth twitched into a smile and the tingly feeling in my stomach increased when she reached out her hand to stroke over the back of my hand with her fingertips. Her touch was gentle and still it somehow managed to leave a trail of invisible fire on my skin.

"That you're interested in other women. I mean…really interested."

I blushed again and tried to hide it behind a curtain of my long hair.

"Don't," she whispered, leaning forward to put a wisp of it behind my ear again. When her hand brushed against the sensitive skin on my neck a shiver went down my spine.

"Don't be ashamed of how you're feeling."

"Mostly I'm feeling confused right now." I confessed, sipping on the glass of orange juice in front of me.

"Hmm,"

"Look, last night was…" amazing, earth-shattering, life-changing...

"Last night had quite a strong effect on you, didn't it?"

The tip of her tongue circled the straw in her coke bottle before she closed her lips around it to sip on it.

Yes, I thought. Your face is definitely going to stay in this embarrassing crimson color.

"It was nice."

"Nice?"

God, Isabella, have you forgotten that nice is the little brother of crappy?

"I mean it was…well, I liked it, a lot actually."

"I liked it too, but I shouldn't have done it."

"Why? Did I do something wrong?"

She shook her head and sighed deeply.

"No, you didn't. Don't worry about that. It's just…I'm not the type for one-night stands."

"I've never done something like what happened last night before ever in my life." At least not with another woman…

"I guess so, but it's different for me. Look, I know where you are right now, Bella and I've been there too."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Alice."

"Would you kiss me?"

"Here?" my voice raised two octaves, reaching a way too shrill sounding frequency.

"See, that's exactly what I meant."

"I don't think I understand."

"You're afraid to admit that you're gay."

"No, yes…I don't want people to think that I'm a freak. It's none of their business with whom I want to be."

She took my hand in hers and squeezed it gently.

"I don't know how this is going to work. I don't know if it can. I've already broken all of my rules and we haven't even had dinner together."

"Rules? What kind of rules?"

"Not having sex in the first night…but most of all, not to interfere with women that still have trouble dealing with their sexual orientation."

"Do you regret that you…that we…?"

"No," she whispered so low that her voice was barely audible.

"I don't regret it."

"You're confusing me. I don't know what you expect me to do."

"I don't know what I expect myself to do. Like I told you, I've broken already too many of my own rules."

"Did nobody tell you that some rules are made to be broken?"


	3. It's in the water

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer.

[A/N] Thanks and hugs to all those of you who faved and alerted this story, especially those who took the time to review. It really means a lot to me.

*I'm looking for someone who would like to beta for me, so pm me if you're interested in being the comma-guru underneath my wings…*

****It's in the Water****

I twisted my hair into a messy ponytail and leaned back against the tree behind us. This place in the woods, just a few minutes away from Charlie's house was my favorite. When I was a little girl I used to believe that fairies and other mythical creatures would suddenly show up any minute behind one of the moss covered stumps.

"It's pretty here," she stated, while she took a small flower between her dainty fingers to crumble the white petals between them.

"Do you come here often?"

"Sometimes when I want to be alone, no one ever comes here." I confessed, while I pulled my jacket over my shoulder. Now that the sun was almost down, it was starting to get colder.

"So, you brought me here to hide me?" her voice sounded hurt now.

"No, it's not like that."

Jeez, it's totally like that, Isabella. I wondered if she would just stand up and leave now.

"You, really suck at lying, do you know that?"

"Sorry, it's just…I like you but I'm afraid about what people would think of that."

"I like you too. Why do you care so much about what people think? This is about your life…well, I mean it's about the choices you make in your life."

"Can't you understand that I'm scared?"

She nodded her head and leaned forward to twist one of my long chestnut curls around her finger to pull me closer.

"You should be more afraid of making your life a lie. I like you…you like me. How can that be wrong?"

Her mouth was so close to mine now that her sweet breathe tickled the skin on my lower lip. A split second before our lips touched she pulled back and stood up from the ground again.

"Sorry, did I do anything wrong?"

"No, you didn't. I just don't like being someone's dirty little secret."

"Someone's what? I don't think I understand."

She sighed and sat down on the muddy ground again wrapping her arms around her slim legs.

"Look, I don't think you're ready to have a relationship with a woman. I like you…way too much than I should after this short period of time."

"I like you too."

"I know you do because if you didn't you wouldn't have asked me to come here with you."

"We could go somewhere else, if you preferred that."

"Aren't you afraid that someone could see us together?"

"Yes…but I'm also afraid that you could leave. I don't want you to."

She took my hand in hers and squeezed it gently.

"I'll stay, well at least as long as I can still feel my toes. It's getting awfully cold here."

I took my jacket and placed it over her shoulder, feeling her shiver slightly when my fingers accidentally brushed over the soft skin on her collarbone.

"But now you're getting cold." she protested, while she rubbed her cheek against the jeans fabric.

"Don't worry about that."

I cleared my throat before I spoke up again.

"Did you always know that you were gay?"

She shook her head.

"Not always, but for a pretty long time, I think. My brother is gay too, maybe that made it easier for me to admit how I'm feeling."

"And your parents?"

"Well, my mom is quite sad that she's not going to get any grandchildren but apart from that my parents are very supportive."

"That's nice. I think that Charlie and Renee would not be thrilled if I told them."

"How can you know that?"

"I don't…I just think they would. My father is the chief of police how would that look like if his daughter suddenly turned gay?"

"How would that look like? You really need to stop worrying that much about what people might think."

I took her hand in mine and painted an invisible heart over her palm.

"Tell me more about you."

"What do you want to know?" she asked me while she interlaced the fingers of her left hand with mine.

"Everything," I croaked out, trying to keep on breathing in and out calmly while her thumb circled over my wrist.

"Everything is a little bit much, don't you think? But I give you a few of the basics."

"Kay,"

She chuckled and put my hand against her lips to blow a kiss over the back of my hand.

"I'm twenty, I have two brothers, both older than me and I like shopping way too much for someone who is trying to save money to move to a bigger city."

"You want to move?"

"Forks, is not really the place where I want to spend the rest of my life. Do you want to stay here?"

I quickly shook my head.

"I got a new job here but I don't know if I'm going to keep it. I'm not really that good with kids."

"You're a teacher?"

"No, I work at the library and it's my job to help children who have trouble reading."

"That sounds nice. I don't think I could do that. Patience is not really my strong point."

"I'm pretty patient when it comes to other people usually. But some of the kids I'm working with are spoilt, little brats."

She pulled out her chapstick and when she put it on her lips; I wondered if it was possible to be jealous of a little cosmetic utensil. How much I wanted her to kiss me again, wanted me to kiss her again.

"What are you thinking? Your cheeks are all red now."

"Nothing," I whispered, staring down on the ground underneath us.

She put one finger under my chin to make me look up at her again.

"Hey, don't try to lie. You suck at that. Tell me what you're thinking, it can't be that bad."

"Kissing." I croaked out hoarsely.

"That's nice. What exactly were you thinking about kissing?"

"You…me…,"

Damn it, Isabella, have suddenly turned into a complete moron who isn't able to speak in full sentences anymore?

"You want me to kiss you again, don't you?"

Her lips twisted into a smile but then the beautiful face turned into a hard mask.

"I want to kiss you too, badly but you're not ready for that and as patience isn't really my strong point…I don't know how this is going to work."

"We already had sex and now you're telling me that I'm not ready for kissing?"

"That's different. Maybe someday, you'll be able to understand that."

"Can I ask you something? Have you been with many women?"

God, Isabella, what kind of stupid question is that? It's so none of your business.

"Have you been with a lot of men?"

"Me?"

"See anyone else whom I could have asked right now?"

"Ahm,"

She chuckled and handed me my jacket back before she stood up from the ground again.

"It's cute how you always blush when you get embarrassed."

"I don't think so."

I reached out my hand and pulled a piece of dried leaves out of her spikey dark hair.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me closer. Her fingertips stroked over the sensitive skin and I instantly stopped breathing.

"You really want to get kissed," she whispered cupping my face in her right hand, letting her thumb caress my bottom lip so gently that her touch made me feel tingly all over my body.

"Yes,"

"Are you going to tell anyone about it?"

"What for?"

She dropped her hands to the side and sighed deeply.

"See, that's what I meant when I said you're not really ready."

"Do you tell everyone whom you kiss?"

"No, I don't, but I don't lead people into the forest when I want to kiss them."

"You rather lead them into an empty parking lot, don't you?"

"I shouldn't have done that. You're so inexperienced and I took advantage of that."

"Took advantage? Are you kidding me?"

I realized that her eyes looked glassy now. Damn it, she wouldn't start crying now, would she?

"I shouldn't have done that. This is not how I am. It was just…when I saw you, from the first moment I saw you I wanted you."

"I want you too…way too much."

"That's not enough, not for me."

She turned around and I placed my hand on her shoulder to stop her. The thought of her leaving now was painful, way more painful than it should be.

"Please, stay." I pleaded, wrapping my arms around her waist. I pulled her close to me and when I buried my face into her short hair she relaxed again.

"It's too cold to stay here." she stated after a few moments.

"I can try to warm you up." Jeez, Isabella what kind of lame pick-up line is that?

"I mean I could give you my jacket again."

She turned around and planted a feather light kiss on my forehead.

"Didn't you tell me that you live nearby?"

XXXXX

"Your house is cozy; I really like it a lot." she stated while I handed her a cup of hot chocolate.

"Thanks," I mumbled while I tried not to stare too much at her lips that left a small light red mark on the edge of the yellow cup.

"Do you have your own place?"

"No, I live with my brother and his boyfriend. They've been together forever. You would like them."

"Have you told them about me?"

"Not much. They both share my opinion about not starting something with someone who's not out of the closet yet."

"Hmm, I see." I mumbled, dipping a cookie into my own cup of hot chocolate.

"That's one of your rules, isn't it? I wonder how many of them you might have. What are these rules for anyway?"

"To protect me from getting hurt," she whispered before she sat down next to me on the couch.

"I would never hurt you." I told her, taking her hand in mine to squeeze it gently.

"Don't make a promise that you can't keep."

I shook my head and put her hand to my lips to plant a kiss on each of her knuckles.

"We can take it slow, can't we? I mean, this is probably a stupid suggestion considering that we already…,"

"Shhh," she mumbled, putting one finger against my lips to silence me.

"It's a wonderful idea, Bella."

Then she took another sip from her hot chocolate and cleared her throat nervously before she spoke up again.

"Do you want to have dinner with me?"

"In a restaurant?"

"No, at the truck-stop down the highway; I've heard they serve some excellent fries there."

"You have a little tendency to sarcasm, haven't you?"

"Maybe…I've never really thought about that. Are you scared to be seen with me in public?"

"No, I mean you don't really look like a lesbian, so nobody would assume anything."

"Enlighten me, please. How is a lesbian supposed to look like?"

"Well, butch somehow…short cropped hair, flannel shirts...kind of like that."

"You're full of prejudices."

"That's not true."

"Oh, it is true. Look, I like being girly, I like wearing pretty dresses and makeup, that doesn't make me less of a lesbian than others."

"I want to be like you."

"Bella, you are like me…maybe you don't know it yet, but you're exactly like me."

She put a wisp of my hair behind my ear and smiled at me.

"Promise me not to cut off your hair, when you manage to come out. I really like it the way it is now."

"I promise."

"Good," she whispered and leaned over to me.

"Kiss me," I whispered so low that my voice was barely audible.

For a moment she seemed to hesitate but then she cupped my face between her hands and pulled me closer. I closed my eyes and then finally, finally her soft lips touched mine. The tip of her tongue nudged against my upper lip and when I parted my mouth a little she nudged it gently against my tongue, sending a pleasant shiver down my spine. The tingly feeling deep down in my stomach increased so much that I moaned into her mouth. I couldn't remember that something so innocent like a kiss had ever made me feel like that.

When she pulled back I gasped for air but instantly twisted my hands into her hair to keep her close.

"I really should go now…or our plan on taking things slow won't work out."


	4. All over me

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer , because if I did Bella would be with Alice and the whole thing wouldn't be rated PG13

****All over me****

I wiped my sweating palms on the rough fabric of my jeans and sighed deeply before I finally managed to calm myself down enough to get out of my car.

You can do that, I tried to encourage myself. The last of a dozen attempts to convince myself that it was a good idea what I was about to do. Wasn't that what everyone told you in those stupid leaflets? That everything would be way easier once you told your mother.

"Isabella!" My mom called out when she saw me. She gave me a one-armed hug and returned her attention to the flower arrangement on the kitchen table.

"Hi mom." I greeted her, trying to make my voice sound cheerful and light.

"Are you okay?" she asked me worriedly when she saw how I nervously nibbled on my bottom lip.

"Yes, of course, I am. I just came here to…," to tell you that I'm a homo…

"To visit you," I finally managed to croak out, staring down at the floor to avoid eye contact with her.

"That's nice. I'm happy to see you. You look good."

"Thanks mom."

"How's living with that man going?"

"That man is my father and he has a name."

"Whatever. You could have stayed with me and Phil, you know? We have way more space here for you and you'd have your own bathroom."

"It's not for long anyway. I'm planning on getting a place of my own."

"If you found yourself a nice boyfriend you could move in with him. It's really time for you to consider a serious relationship."

"Mom, please."

"I don't understand why you're so ridiculously shy around men. That's something that you must have inherited from his side, not mine."

I sighed deeply and poured myself a glass of water that I swallowed down in one gulp. Afterwards my throat still felt way too dry to speak. At least too dry to speak the words I had come here to tell her. Damn it, why the hell was this so incredibly difficult?

"Karen told me that Mike and Jessica broke off…again."

"Hmm,"

"Maybe you should call him and ask him to go out for a drink or something like that. Men like women who take control."

"Mom, are you kidding me?"

"Why would I? Newton is nice. He comes from a good family." He comes from a good family is my mother's polite way of saying that they are rich. Well, whatever, being rich means in a small town.

"I'm not interested in Mike."

"Even that little, four-eyes managed to catch a husband. You're way prettier than Angela, so what is wrong with you?"

"Nothing," I mumbled, pouring myself another glass of water.

My cell vibrated in my pocket and I flipped it open to read the new text.

_Has anyone ever told you that smell like Freesia and Strawberries? AC_

I quickly typed a reply and tried to cover my blush behind a curtain of my long hair.

_That's just my shampoo. B._

Her answer came a few seconds later.

_You're not really good at the whole flirting thing, are you?_

I sighed and tried to ignore the trembling in my fingertips when I send the next message.

_Sorry, I'm talking to my mom right now and I'm kind of nervous._

_Don't be nervous. Everything is going to be fine._

I wasn't so sure about that and when I stuffed the cell back into my pocket again, I decided that this whole coming out to my mother thing had been a stupid idea. There was no way she was ever going to understand the way I felt.

"I have to go now, mom." I whispered, standing up from the chair again.

"That soon? Don't you want to stay for dinner?"

"No, I can't. I'm meeting with a…" the word almost died on my lips …"with a friend."

Fucking coward, I cursed myself. Friend? She wasn't my friend, because I knew for sure that friends didn't make your heart beat like that…

XXXX

She opened the door and wrapped her arms around my neck. Her dark curls were still damp and felt silky against the skin of my neck when she planted a kiss on my cheek.

"Hi, pretty one."

I took her hand in mine to draw invisible lines over the pearly-white skin. Her lips twitched into a smile and I felt how my heart pulsated so hard against my ribs that for a split second I wondered if she would be able to hear that.

"I thought that you'd like it better if we're eating here instead of a restaurant."

"Hmm,"

We walked into the apartment and I almost stumbled over a box that was standing on the floor.

"Sorry that it's so crowded. We don't really have enough space here."

"Our space would be just fine if we wouldn't have to make room for all of your stuff too."

A honey-blonde guy stated while he sipped on a bottle of beer in his hands.

Alice blushed and crossed her arms in front of her chest before she spoke up again.

"Why are you still here? Didn't you promise me that you would leave to pick up my brother about half an hour ago?"

"He called to tell me that he's working overtime."

"Then you could still be a nice boyfriend and wait there until he's ready." She stated nervously.

The blond guy chuckled and took another sip from his beer before he placed it on the counter.

Then he reached out his hand and waved at me.

"Hi there, I'm sorry that my sister-in-law has no manners. I'm Jasper."

"Hi Jasper, it's nice to meet you."

"Are you going to stay here the entire evening?"

"Alice, calm down. I'm about to leave."

"It doesn't look like you're leaving."

"Okay, you caught me. I was curious about your new…girlfriend."

"Oh, I'm not…" I croaked out, instantly regretting my words as soon as they had left my lips.

"Are you sure about that? Because you're holding her hand a little bit too long for a good friend."

"Jasper for heaven's sake, mind your own business."

"Kay, I'm going now. Don't have sex on the couch. It was too expensive to ruin it with your…friendship."

"Fuck you!" she snarled at him when he walked out of the small living room. When he was gone she cleared her throat nervously.

"Sorry about that."

"Don't have to be." I assured her while sat down on one of the kitchen chairs.

"Was that your brother's boyfriend?"

"Hmm, yes."

"He doesn't really look gay."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

"No…yes, I don't really know."

"I'm giving you a clue. It's not."

I nodded my head before I put it in my hands to hide my embarrassed face. God, all of this was so confusing and new.

"Hey," she whispered, kneeling down in front of me.

"Look at me."

I lowered my hands very slowly and blinked into her beautiful face.

"There you are. Bella, you don't have to feel bad for saying what you think."

"Hmm,"

She leaned forward and put a curl of my hair behind my ear. Her fingertips grazed the shell of my ear for a moment and her touch managed to send a pleasant shiver down my spine.

"I missed you…kind off."

"I missed you too…kind off."

I took her hand in mine and planted a soft kiss on her palm.

"I have to tell you something."

"It's never a good sign when someone starts with that sentence."

She stood up from the ground and opened the fridge behind her.

"What do you want to drink? We have diet coke and beer and something that probably was orange juice about two weeks ago."

"Diet coke is fine, thank you."

I sipped on the bottle that she handed me and cleared my throat nervously before I spoke up again.

"I couldn't do it. I just couldn't."

"You could not what?"

"Tell my mother…well, you know what I mean."

Her pretty mouth twitched for a moment. Then she took my hand in hers and squeezed it gently.

"It's okay. I know that this is difficult for you, Bella."

"I'm scared." I mumbled hoarsely, my voice almost cracking at the end.

"Of what? What is the worst that could happen?"

I buried my face against the crock of her neck and sighed deeply.

"That she could be disappointed or angry, probably a little bit of both,"

She pulled me closer against her body and stroked over my hair in smooth, feather light movements.

"Don't be afraid. Your parents will still love you, when you tell them."

"How can you know that? This is a small town and my father knows so many people. I don't want them to talk about me behind my back."

"It seems to matter a lot to you what other people think about you." she stated while she stood up from the ground again.

"Doesn't that matter to you at all?" I asked her while I couldn't keep my eyes of off her mouth as she licked off a bit of pasta sauce from a spoon.

"Try," she whispered and put another spoon of it against my lips.

"Is it good?"

The first thing I tasted was salt, followed by something that reminded me a little bit of basil and burned onions.

"It tastes interesting," I stated when I swallowed it with another sip from my coke.

"It tastes like crap."

"It's not that bad."

"Oh, Bella, you really suck at lying. How did you manage to hide your orientation for so long?"

"I'm pretty good at avoiding the whole subject."

She flipped the cooking book that was lying on the counter open and sighed.

"I don't understand why it doesn't taste like it normally does. When Edward cooks this it's really delicious."

"Have you ever cooked before?"

"Not much. But it looked easy to me when I watched my brother do it, so I figured out it couldn't be that difficult."

"It's not, if you know what you're doing."

I twisted my hands into a messy ponytail and put my arm around her shoulder.

"Can I take a look? I'm pretty good at cooking."

"Bella, you don't have to do that. We can order pizza or something like that."

"Is Chinese okay? I have a weakness for fortune cookies."

"I can predict the future for you perfectly, if you want me too."

"Kay,"

She turned around and cupped my face between her dainty hands. Then she leaned over, stopping probably an inch away from my mouth. Her lips were so close to mine that I could almost feel the warmth of them on my skin.

"What do you see?" I whispered, letting my forefinger brush against her lower lip. It felt smooth like silk against my fingertip. Soft, everything about her is so incredibly soft, I thought.

"You're going to meet a very beautiful woman."

"Really?"

"Of course, I'm an excellent psychic and wouldn't tell you anything that's not true."

"Is she going to kiss me?" I asked her, twisting my hands into her short curls to pull her closer.

"Do you want her to?"

I didn't answer her; instead I closed my eyes and nudged my lips against hers very gently. For a split second she seemed to hesitate but then she kissed me back, making me shiver when the tip of her tongue swirled over my lower lip until I parted my mouth a little. Her hands moved down my back and when she reached the small stripe of exposed skin between my jeans and my shirt I moaned against her trembling lips.

"We should stop," she mumbled when she pulled back and took two steps backwards. When her eyes met mine again, I realized that she looked incredibly sad.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No, you didn't. I already told you that patience is not my strong point. I want you…but I need you to want me too. Enough that you are not afraid to tell people, who I am to you."

"Oh, I see."

I knew exactly where she was heading with this. She didn't know how long she could be with someone who couldn't be open about her sexuality. And the truth was that I knew she was right. She deserved better. The only question was whether I would be able to give that to her.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

[A/N] I love to hear your thoughts about this chapter. So, please press the review-button or pm me to let me know if you liked it.


	5. Bound

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Anyone excited for the release of the BD trailer? I really can't wait to see it.

Thanks to each and every of you who decided to give this story here a try. Your encouraging feedback really means a lot to me.

****Bound****

Unlike most other women I had never been very fond of spending time shopping for clothes. The entire procedure itself was boring for me and so I was a little bit torn when Alice called me the next day, asking if I wanted to help her find a dress. It wasn't that I didn't want to spend time with her. Hell, I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. The thing was that I didn't know how to behave around her when we were together in public.

My fingertips brushed against the silky skin on her knuckles and my heartbeat quickened instantly when I thought about taking her hand in mine.

"Are you okay?" she asked me, sitting down on a bench that was standing in front of a shoe shop.

"Hmm,"

She pulled out the pair of silver colored shoes and turned them around in her hands.

"Pretty, aren't they?"

I nodded my head, wondering how she would manage to walk with those heels without twisting an ankle.

"You're pretty girly for…well, for someone who…," I whispered into her ear, fighting the urge to plant a kiss underneath her hairline. There was no way I could do that when people could see us.

"You mean for someone who would like to kiss you on the mouth right now?" she whispered back, sending a shiver down my spine when her breathe tickled the skin on my neck.

"Alice, I…I can't. I'm sorry."

"Too bad, because you really look as if you could need some kissing now. It would help you to relax."

"I highly doubt that."

She chuckled and took my hand in hers to squeeze it gently.

"Don't be so nervous."

Nervous? Who the hell is nervous here? Me, definitely not…

"I'm not nervous." I stated, cursing myself for the embarrassed trembling in my voice.

"Well, I'm worried about what people might think when they'd see us kissing or something."

"Why do you care so much about what they think or don't think? God, Bella you don't even know these people that are running around in this mall."

"I don't care what they think. It's just…well I don't want them to think I'm weird."

"That's the same. Look, I understand that you're scared. I really do, because I've been there. The thing is that I don't want to go back. I don't want to go back there…ever."

I swallowed hard and tried to concentrate on breathing in and out deeply to fight the panic that immediately spread through me. So, this was it. She had reached that point where she had realized that things between us wouldn't work out. Damn it, I didn't want this to be over. How could it be over before it had even really started yet?

"Don't be afraid." She told me, rubbing small circles up my wrist until she reached the sleeve of my shirt

"I like you too much to run away from all this Coming Out crap."

My eyes scanned the area around us briefly before I quickly leaned over to plant a kiss on her cheek.

"I like you too…a lot."

She cleared her throat nervously before she spoke up again.

"Do you have plans for Saturday?"

"Not really."

"Fine, that's good, because I wanted to ask you if you'd like to be my date."

"Your date for what?"

"For the bank robbery I'm planning on."

It probably took me a split second too long to figure out that she was kidding. She always managed to keep her voice so serious, no matter what she told me.

"You don't grasp the concept of sarcasm, do you?"

"I'm usually pretty good at that but with you it's different. You could probably tell me everything and I would believe you."

"If I told you that nothing bad is going to happen when you come out, would you believe me?"

I shook my head and stared down at the ground. An unpleasant feeling…was it shame? Spread through me and I didn't want her to look at me now.

She sighed and put her arm around my shoulder to pull me closer until I was cuddled against her side.

"I'm a stupid coward."

"You just have to learn that there are some things that are more important than your fears."

"It's easy to say for you. You are already out and you don't seem to be afraid of anything because you obviously don't care about other people's opinion on your sexuality."

"You're wrong. There are a lot of things that I'm afraid of."

"What kind of things?"

She cupped my face in her hand and although I knew, somewhere deep down inside of me that it wasn't okay to let her touch me like this in public it felt way too good to not enjoy the tender caress.

"I'm scared of thunder, I'm scared of spiders and mostly I'm scared of getting hurt. Well, not physically but I guess you know what I mean."

"I won't hurt you."

"Bella, I already told you not to make a promise that you can't keep."

"You don't know that."

"You actually have a point. Well, the whole thing is really about having things that are more important to you than your fears."

"Hmm,"

Her forefinger touched my upper lip very gently and the tingly feeling deep down in my stomach that I always felt when her eyes met mine increased so much that I had to suppress a moan in my throat.

"We still need to find that dress for you, don't we?"

"That's right and it brings me back to me previous question. Do you want to be my date for Saturday? It's for my brother's wedding."

"Jasper and Edward are getting married?" My voice raised two octaves.

She shook her head and giggled sheepishly.

"Bella, there is no gay marriage or whatever in Washington and apart from that I highly doubt that they would want to tie the knot. They don't need that kind of…commitment to know that they belong together."

"Would that be okay for your other brother if you showed up there with a girl?" I asked her skeptically.

"Of course it would. My family knows about my preferences."

"And his fiancée?"

She put a finger in her mouth and made some puking noises.

"His fiancée is a stupid, arrogant bitch and I don't give a shit what she thinks. If she thinks at all that is."

"I don't really know."

"Oh please, say yes. It'll be fun."

XXXX

My fingertips trembled when I touched the exposed skin on her back and slowly pulled up the zipper of the baby blue colored silk dress.

I planted a kiss on her shoulder before I let go and stepped back.

She turned around to get a better look at herself in the mirror while I couldn't manage to keep my eyes off of her cleavage. Before I knew what I was doing I leaned forward and swirled the tip of my tongue up and down between her breasts. Her skin tasted slightly salty and sweet at the same time. However it was delicious. Would she taste like that all over her body?

"Bella,"

The sound of her voice, although it wasn't more than a hoarse whisper managed to bring me back to reality.

"Sorry," I stumbled out.

"I don't know what came over me."

Her mouth curved into a smile before she nudged her mouth against mine and sucked my lower lip between her teeth to nibble on it. I whimpered slightly when her hands caressed my sides and stroked up my bare forearms.

"Don't apologize for showing me that you want to be with me." she whispered into my ear, letting her teeth graze the shell of my ear.

"Because I want you to want me," she stated, licking her lower lip with the tip of her tongue. My face turned into a bright crimson color when I thought about all the things the touch of that tongue could make me feel.

"Why are you blushing?"

"Nothing, I'm just warm. It's too hot in here."

"You actually know that this shop is air conditioned, do you?"

I wished there was some air conditioning for the radiating warmth between my legs…

She turned around again and picked at the delicate fabric of the dress.

"How do you like the dress?"

"It's pretty and the color makes your skin look beautiful."

"Can you check the price for me and try to break the news to me gently?"

"It's not that much." I mumbled.

"Really? Is it on sale?"

"No, it's not. The dress costs more than some people spend on food in a month. Kay, I suck at breaking news to someone gently. Maybe that's why I suck so much at this whole Coming Out thing."

She giggled and tried to fumble the dress open again.

"Let me help you."

The dress landed on a small pile on the ground and I tried to remind myself that although we were behind a secure curtain this was still a public place and it would be totally inappropriate if I would press her body against mine now.

Damn it, she really was the most magnificent, beautiful creature I had ever seen in my entire life…

"Found everything you were looking for?" the red-haired girl at the cash register asked Alice when she handed her the small silver card.

"Yes, we did, although my…friend…here thinks that you could work a bit on your air conditioning system."

The girl looked puzzled and nodded her head while she stuffed the dress into a plastic bag.

We walked out of the shop and I almost fainted when she took my hand in hers. God, Isabella, get a grip. This is just holding hands. No one will assume anything. You hold hands with Angela all the time when you're walking somewhere together.

"Relax. I don't ask you to make out with me in public. But if you want to make this work…if we want to make this work, you should know that I'm a pretty cuddly person. I want to be sure that I can at least hold your hand in public without you looking as if you're about to get a panic attack or something like that."

I squeezed her hand and rubbed my thumb over her palm.

"Okay,"

"Have you decided yet whether or not you want to come to the wedding with me?"

"Alice, I don't really know. What will people think if you show up there with a girl? I mean would I have to wear a suit for it?"

"Please, don't bring out this butch/femme stereotype. That's so…clichéd. I like that you're so feminine. People at the wedding would probably think that I have way better taste in women than Emmett. Look, this is the wonderful thing about being out. You can stop worrying all the time about what people might think."

I nodded my head and wondered if I would ever be ready to cross the bounds of my own fears.


	6. Fcking Amal!

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer. I just borrow her characters to have fun with them.

[A/N] Thanks to my new beta **Rosalynn** for helping me to make this chapter look prettier.

****F*ck*ng Amal!****

"This isn't going to work this way," I stated, standing up from the ground. We were fumbling around with pieces of wood that were supposed to look like a dresser once we were finished putting them together.

Angela sighed deeply and took another look at the plan that was lying on her desk.

"I don't understand why the parts don't fit into each other. The instructions say…,"

"Angie, I honestly wish we could sue them for the crappy instructions. We've been working for almost two hours now to put that stupid dresser together and what do we have? Nothing but a pile of firewood!"

She sat down on the edge of the bed and kept starring at the picture the dresser company thought would be adequate instructions, obviously hoping that she somehow would manage to figure out how to make it work.

"Maybe there is something wrong with the Swedish translation IKEA sent with it?"

"Or maybe we're just completely untalented. Would you please remind me why we are trying to put this thing together instead of leaving that fun to your husband?"

"Because I'm trying to look like a strong, independent woman to him," she stated, cheerfully.

"I'm giving you a clue. Your plan isn't really working, Angie."

"Do we want to give up and take a break?"

I nodded my head and wiped away a tiny sweat pearl from my forehead.

"Break sounds good. Can we have some beer?"

She went to the tiny kitchen at the other end of the floor to get us some and I used the opportunity to check my cell for new texts.

_*What are you doing right now? Kiss AC*_

I quickly typed a reply.

_*Just hanging around with my BFF, Kiss B*_

_*Does she know?*_

_*Nooo!*_

_*If she's your best friend you should tell her.*_

_*She's my best friend because she doesn't know.*_

_*You're not crushing on her, are you?*_

_*Jealous?*_

Angela returned and I stuffed the cell back into my handbag without waiting for Alice's reply to my last text.

"Thanks," I mumbled, taking a small sip from the bottle. It was way too warm for my liking.

"Sorry, the fridge isn't really working. Jeez, nothing in this apartment is really working. Maybe that's why it was so cheap to rent it."

"Hmm, probably, Ang. Or you and Ben shouldn't have spent so much money for the wedding. Then the two of you could afford something that isn't a complete dump."

She chuckled slightly and took the wedding picture that was standing next to the bed in her hands.

"It was definitely worth it. You'll understand that once you're going to meet your Prince Charming."

"Hmm,"

"Did you hear that Mike is single again? He and Jess split up."

"Are you trying to pair me off again? Angela, you know that I can't stand that."

She sipped halfheartedly on her beer and sighed deeply.

"I can't believe how someone as nice as you can have such a quirk."

"Hmm?"

"Oh come on, Bella. You know what I mean. Your expectations about love are completely unrealistic. No guy will ever be able to live up to them."

A guy? Definitely not…

"That's not true. I just haven't found…,"

"Yeah, I know and you won't if you don't stop wishing for something that isn't going to happen."

"Can you just drop it? I don't want to date Mike or Eric or any other of our male single friends." I told her, desperately hoping that she would drop that subject now.

"Have you ever considered online dating?"

"I'm not keen on getting stalked by some creepy serial killer or something like that."

"It could be fun. Bella, when was the last time you went on a date?"

"Tuesday," I responded immediately, cursing myself instantly as soon as the word had left my lips.

"What? With whom?" Her voice raised two octaves and I prepared myself for an endless questioning concerning my date. I wondered if I should fake an acute indigestion to have a good excuse to leave now. No, that wouldn't work. Damn it, Isabella, why can't you think before you speak? It would make your life so much easier…

"Didn't you like it? Was he weird? Did he try to grope or something?"

"No."

"Are you going to see him again?"

"Maybe,"

"Can you actually give me an answer that contains more than one word?"

"Oh, Angie, just forget it. I don't want to talk about it."

"Why?"

"Because this is none of your business!" I snarled at her.

She cringed and stood up from the edge of the bed she had been sitting on.

"Of course, it's my business. God, Bella, you're my best friend."

I swallowed hard and when I opened my mouth to gasp for air I tasted something salty on the tip of my tongue.

"Why are you crying now? You're not embarrassed because I asked about your crappy date, are you? You know I won't tell anyone."

She sat down next to me on the ground and wrapped one arm around my shoulder.

"Please, stop asking."

"That bad? Look, if he molested you or something you have to press charges so that he won't do it again."

"Why do you assume that he molested me?"

"You seem so ashamed to talk about it."

I sniffed and wiped my running nose at the sleeve of my shirt while I desperately tried to compose myself enough to stop with the embarrassing crying.

Angela handed me a tissue and I cleared my nose loudly before I spoke up.

"No one molested me. You're watching too much bad TV."

"I'm happy to hear that. The part about no one molesting you, I mean. Why don't you want me to tell about him? Did you meet him at work? He's not married, is he?"

She's definitely watching too much bad TV shows…

"No, I would never go on a date with someone who's married. We met at a bar, I went to on Monday."

"Since when do you go out to bars on a week day?"

"Are you my mother now?"

"Oh, Bella, don't be like that. I'm just curious."

"And can you stop being curious? It's annoying."

She giggled and played with the empty bottle in her hands.

"Give me a few details and I'll stop."

"Deal?"

"You're on."

I sighed deeply and twisted my hair into a messy bum.

"Fine, what do you want to know?"

"Is he handsome?"

"Yes. He…," I almost choked at the word…,"is pretty good looking."

"Blond?"

"No, dark-haired with brown eyes,"

"Sounds nice, are you going to see him again?"

"Yes, I will."

"Cool, we could go on a double date next time. Ben and I really need to go out some time soon before we turn into a boring married couple."

"I don't think that's a good idea,." I mumbled, so low that my voice was barely audible.

"Why? Isn't he nice?"

"No. Look, this is complicated."

"I don't think it is. Some people are good looking but have no sense of humor."

"The sense of humor is pretty good if you're into sarcasm."

"Is he older than you?"

"No, younger…"

"But, he's legal, isn't he?"

"Twenty."

"Twenty? Don't you think a twenty year old guy is a bit too immature for you?"

I quickly shook my head and checked my ruined eye makeup in my hand mirror.

My cell vibrated in my handbag and I hesitated to pull it out because I didn't want to speak to Alice while I was at Angela's house.

"Aren't you going to answer that?"

"I'll call back later."

She raised one eyebrow.

"You're starting to behave really weird. Are you going to tell me what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," I whispered, nervously.

"Don't lie to me. You suck at lying and you know it."

Her face turned into a frown for a moment but then her gaze softened again. She took my hand in hers and squeezed it gently.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me. Have you forgotten that I'm your best friend?"

I sighed deeply and forced my lips into something that was supposed to look like a smile but had probably more in common with a grimace.

"I can't."

"Don't you trust me?"

"Of course, I trust you."

"Then I don't understand why you're so shy to talk about him."

I felt the tears burning in the corner of my eyes again and took several deep breaths to try to keep them from falling.

"Hey, you're starting to worry me. Look, if you don't like that guy dump him. There are enough other fish in the sea."

"It's not that I don't…because I actually do, a lot."

"So you like him, but you don't want to talk about him and you don't want me to meet him."

"It's not like that…,"

"Bella, it's exactly like that."

Her grey eyes were starting to look all glassy now and it instantly made me feel guilty.

"Look, Angie, this hasn't anything to do with you. It's just about me."

"Whatever. Maybe you should leave now. I need to put this stupid dresser together before Ben comes home."

XXXXX

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I called out, while my fists connected with the steering wheel. My knuckles started to hurt and I put my hand to my mouth to blow old air over it. Jeez, that was just what I needed right now; a trip to the E.R. because I accidentally sprained my hand.

My cell vibrated again and I sighed deeply before I pulled it out of my handbag.

"Hi, Alice."

"Hello, Bella. It's nice that you actually decided to answer my call."

"Sorry, I was distracted…sort of."

"You sound upset. Are you okay?"

"Angie is pissed at me. I hate it when that happens."

"Is she your BFF?"

"Hmm,"

"Why are the two of you fighting?"

"I accidentally told her about your date on Tuesday."

"How can you tell someone accidentally? Do you have trouble with this thing called word vomit?"

I sniffed and searched for a fresh tissue in the depth of my handbag.

"Are you crying?" she sounded horrified now.

"No, I'm not. But I did and she assumed that you date raped me."

"She what?"

"Don't ask."

"Does she know that I'm a girl?"

"Of course not," I responded, cursing myself for the shrill sound of my own voice.

"I thought that she's your best friend."

"She is. That's why I hate it when she's angry at me. She kept asking too many questions and it was so…well, awkward somehow."

"It would stop being awkward, if you simply told her the truth."

"No, it wouldn't. She would probably never talk to me again and I don't want to lose her. Angie is important to me."

"Are you in love with her?" she asked me suddenly, her voice sounded worried although she tried to keep it light and cheerful.

"Me in love with Angie? That would be like incest to me."

"That's good to hear, because I really don't like competing with some straight girl that you crush on."

"Are you jealous? Because you don't have to be, I only like you. Well, I only _like_, like you."

"I like you too, Bella. But you need to start having a little faith in the people that are in your life."

There was an awkward moment of silence before she hesitantly spoke up again.

"You're still there?"

"Yes, I don't know what to say. I don't want you to be angry at me too. It's bad enough that Angie is disappointed in me."

"Pretty-one, just tell her the truth. Nothing bad is going to happen. She'll still be your friend when she knows."

"You can't know that for sure."

"Neither can you."

I started crying again because the conversation with her was starting to exhaust me. Somewhere deep in the corner of my mind, I knew she was right but the fear inside of me was so strong that it literally knocked the breath out of me.

"Bella?"

"I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize to me for crying. I wished I could be with you right now."

"Don't say that, it's not a pretty sight. I look like crap. My eyes are all red and puffy."

"I don't care. You'd always be beautiful to me, pretty-one. Are you home now?"

"No, I'm in my car. I don't want to go home. Charlie would ask me why I cried and I don't want to have to lie to him too."

"You don't have to lie to anyone."

"I know…"

"I don't think you really do."

Then she cleared her throat nervously.

"Do you want to come over to my place? I feel bad when I think about you being all by yourself now."

"I will if you promise me not to give me a hard time for sucking so much at this whole Coming Out thing."

"Oh, Bella, can't see that the only one, who's giving you a hard time with that right now, is you?"


	7. Out at the Wedding

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer**. **

[A/N] Thanks to my beta **Rosalynn** for helping me make this chapter look prettier.

How did you guys like the new BD Trailer? I thought it was awesome, can't wait until November.

But now, here's the new chapter of CI. Hope you'll enjoy :-)

****Out at the Wedding****

I felt close to throwing up and took several deep breaths through my nose to calm down my nervous stomach.

"Slow down, Alice's date looks as if she's about to blow."

"Jasper is right. You're driving like a maniac. It's frightening. So slow the fuck down before we crash into a tree or something."

Her brown haired brother chuckled and reduced the speed of the car a tiny bit.

"Better that way? If she's feeling sick we could roll down the windows, so that she could get some fresh air."

"No! If you do that it's going to ruin my hair."

"Alice, your hair and the way it looks now is exactly the reason why I'm driving that fast. We're already late."

"It's not that bad," I whispered, taking Alice's hand in mine to squeeze it gently. The truth was that it wasn't so much his aggressive driving style that was making me feel sick but more the thought that I was going to a wedding with a girl as my date, a pretty one on top of it.

"I like the way you're wearing your hair today. It's pretty," I whispered into her ear, when I put one of the carefully arranged curls behind her ear.

"Thanks."

There was the shrill sound of a police siren behind us and I heard Edward inhale sharply between his teeth.

"Crap! That's just what we needed right now."

He pulled over and turned off the engine. His mouth twitched into a smile before he pulled down the window. The moment Charlie's face appeared in the frame I wished I could make myself invisible. God, this was so embarrassing.

"Bella?"

"Hi, Dad." I forced my lips into a grimace and shyly waved my hand at him.

He cleared his throat before he turned to Edward.

"Young man, did you have trouble reading that speed sign four miles ago?"

"I was a bit distracted."

"That's a pretty lame excuse, if you ask me."

I wondered if Charlie was going to give him one of his long speeches about responsible driving or one of the stories about the poor parents he had been forced to talk to after their kids had died in an accident. To my surprise it didn't happen.

"But I was young once, too." Yes about a thousand years ago.

"So, I know what it's like to get distracted by a beautiful lady."

What the fuck. God, he thinks that Edward is my date. Earth open up and swallow me before he makes another embarrassing comment.

Alice's brother seemed puzzled for a moment but then he nodded his head.

"I promise to keep to the speed limit now. I don't want anything to happen to my _date_."

"Okay, I don't think it's necessary to give you a ticket. Have a safe ride. Oh and honey, you look pretty."

"Thanks, dad," I stumbled out, hoping that the layer of makeup I had put on would be thick enough to cover my blush.

When Edward closed to window again Jasper burst out into laughter.

"Man that was so funny. I almost peed myself."

"Shut the fuck up, Jasper. Can't you see how embarrassing that was for Bella?"

"Was it embarrassing for her because her father pulled us over or was it embarrassing for her because he thought that Edward was her date?"

"Shut up. You're just disappointed because he didn't think that you are her date."

He chuckled and Alice leaned forward to smack him on the head.

"Ouch! Edward, tell your sister to stop that."

"That's useless. She stopped listening to me when she was five or something like that."

A few moments later Edward parked the car and cleared his throat.

"We're there. Can the two of you try to behave like adults now?"

Jasper cupped his face between his hands and kissed his mouth.

"That must be love that I'm enduring your annoying sister all the time."

"I'm not annoying. I just don't take any crap from you, Mr. Whitlock."

"Look, this is exactly what I meant. Today is not about you and Alice. We're here for Emmett."

"You're still hoping that he's going to make a run in front of the altar, aren't you?"

"Don't tell me you're not. You like our future sister in law as much as I do."

We stepped out of the car and Alice immediately took my hand in hers. I hoped that she wouldn't let go of it the entire day. I kind of felt safer when she was holding it.

A small woman with a heart-shaped face and caramel-colored highlights in her wavy hair walked towards us and wrapped her arms around Alice.

To my surprise she almost instantly started crying.

"Mom, please stop crying. Emmett isn't dying. He's just getting married."

"I know, honey," she whispered when she finally managed to compose herself enough to pull back.

Alice pulled out a tissue and handed it to her mother.

Then she put one arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to her.

"This is Bella."

Her mother sniffed and wiped a few tears from her cheek before she took my hand and shook it for a moment.

"Hello, Bella, it's so nice to meet you. I'm really sorry about the whole crying thing but I just can't stop it. My little baby is getting married…,"

She started sobbing again and Edward took her hand in his to squeeze it gently.

"Mom, you need to calm down and I hate to remind you but your little baby is about 200 pounds now."

"He's still my baby. If you and Jasper would…,"

"Esme, you know that your son doesn't want to marry me. He's still hoping for a better catch."

Edward giggled and I almost fainted when he kissed his blond haired boyfriend passionately on the mouth directly in front of his mother. How could he do that?

XXXX

The ceremony was beautiful and although Alice didn't cry during it like her mother, her eyes still looked glassy. It was obvious how much the whole thing affected her. I wondered if it would be okay to take her hand now. I mean this was a church and god wasn't exactly a fan of my feelings for the dark-haired beauty next to me.

Before I could make up my mind the whole process was over and Alice's brother, who reminded me instantly of a football player, wrapped his arms around his wife that had an almost incredible similarity to a swim wear model.

When she was standing directly in front of me and Alice, I wondered if her nose was real. It looked too perfect to be real. The blond of her hair seemed real enough to me.

Alice hugged her for a moment before she turned to her brother. When he wrapped his arms around her, it made her look like a tiny, breakable doll.

"Congrats, guys. I'm happy that everything turned out like you wished for it."

He kissed her cheek and when he offered me his hand to shake it he squeezed my fingers so tightly that I didn't feel them for a few moments.

"Sorry, I'm not really that good with handling my strength."

"If I have to take my date to the E.R. because you broke her hand with your prank…,"

"You let your sister bring a girl as a date?" His beautiful wife sounded horrified and I found myself wishing for the earth to open up underneath me once again. Of course it didn't happen. Hadn't Alice told me that her family was okay with her orientation? Then I remembered that she didn't really like her new sister in law. Maybe that had to do with Rosanna's, Rosenne's, or whatever was her name, opinion about her homosexuality.

"He didn't let me. But he knew that I wouldn't show up here with a guy, Rosalie."

"Babe, it's okay."

"No, it's not. Everyone is going to stare at them. It is worse enough that your brother and his boyfriend are constantly dry-humping each other when they're in public."

"They can't help being gay. Look, when I was born all the heterosexual power of the Cullen Clan was inherited by me, they didn't stand a chance of being attracted by the opposite sex.

"You're impossible, Emmett."

"And you're a little dyke."

Both of them chuckled and she squeaked when he pulled on one of the tiny blossoms in her hair.

"Don't touch that, Emmett. It took me forever to get it in like that."

"You're too vain for a lesbian."

"And you're, you-know-what-I-mean, is too small for your body size."

Rosalie sighed and rolled her eyes overdramatically.

"Why do the two of you have to act like stupid twelve year olds when you are together? This is so annoying."

Emmett chuckled and planted a kiss on the back of her hand.

"We'll see you later. Promise me to keep Alice away from the drinks. I don't know what she has told you about her age…,"

"The truth," she snarled at him, what earned her another chuckle from his side when he watched her pale face turning crimson red.

"I told her, I'm twenty," She mumbled towards the floor, her voice so low that it was barely audible

"I've been pretty busy in the last weeks but I'm sure that I remember that your birthday is still four months away."

"Emmett, just keep that big mouth of yours shut."

"You made yourself older to impress your new girlfriend. That's too funny."

"Oh, Emmett, just shove it. Don't you have other guests to talk to?"

When he and his wife, that reminded me more and more of a life-sized Barbie doll were out of sight, she sighed deeply.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"That I lied to you about my age. I thought that you'd like me better when I'm not a teenager anymore."

"It doesn't matter. I'm more worried about your sister in law being not really happy about me being here as your date."

"Just ignore Rosalie, we do," Edward and Jasper stated simultaneously.

"She's a stupid, arrogant bitch and I don't understand what Emmett likes in her." Jasper mumbled towards the floor.

"It's probably her boobs. Straight men like boobs a lot."

"Since when do you know what straight guys like?" Jasper asked him, running his hand through Edward's hair.

"I grew up with Emmett. It was kind of inevitable to learn about those things."

Jasper took Alice's hand in his to blow a kiss over the back of her hand.

"Miss Cullen, would you give me the honor of this dance?"

She chuckled and I realized that she had cute dimples in her cheeks when she laughed. The tingly feeling in my stomach increased suddenly and I wondered if I was actually starting to fall in love with her. No, that couldn't be. It was too soon. Or it wasn't, it was hard to tell, concerning the fact that I had never allowed myself to think too much about my feelings for other women.

"Do you want to dance?"

"Hmm?"

"You're not really here, are you?" Edward stated while his mouth turned into a crooked smile when he watched his boyfriend swirling around his sister on the dance floor.

"I was just thinking."

"I thought so. Alice and Jasper look good together, don't they? Dancing is probably the only time when they don't argue."

"Hmm,"

"Am I annoying you? Alice told me that you are shy and she's right. That makes it difficult for me to read you and I'm usually pretty good at that."

"Hmm,"

"Do you want to dance?"

"I'm sorry but you won't have much fun with me in that. I'm terribly clumsy."

"And you're with Alice? Good luck for the future."

I probably looked like I was about to cry or something because he suddenly put his arm on my shoulder.

"Breathe. She likes you; a lot actually."

"How do you know?"

"We do this thing called talking to each other. My sister is pretty bubbly in case you haven't noticed it yet."

"She told you that she likes me?"

"Not directly. But it was obvious from the way she talked about you."

"I don't think I understand."

"Well, she…,"

"Bella!"

I turned around and my legs felt suddenly too weak to keep standing. What the hell was _she_ doing here?

"Angela, what are you doing here?" I whispered, nervously.

"I'm here with my father. He's the Reverend in this town in case you have forgotten that. My mom is having her migraine that's why he asked me to come with him."

"Kay,"

"And you, Bella?"

"Me?"

"See anyone else around here that goes by that name?"

"Are you still angry at me?"

"A bit, but I figured out that I have to be a little bit patient with you and Prince Charming."

"Prince Charming?" Edward raised one eyebrow.

"It's not you, is it?"

She took a quick look at him and shook her head.

"No, it's not you. Your eyes are green and his are brown."

"His?"

Alice and Jasper returned from the dance floor and he immediately wrapped his arms around his boyfriends' waist.

"Your sister is a way better dancer than you are."

"That's just because you won't let me lead."

"Dream on,"

Angela gave me an irritated look but to my surprise she laughed when Edward kissed Jasper right beneath his earlobe.

"You're a nice couple. How long have you guys been together?"

She's not honestly asking them that now is she? Damn it, she is, Isabella.

"A little bit over eight years." Jasper told her cheerfully.

"Really? That's a long time."

"Yeah, I know. I'm kind of stuck with him."

Alice cleared her throat nervously before she spoke up.

"Hi, I'm Alice."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Angie. You're the sister of the groom, aren't you?"

She nodded her head and when the tips of her dainty fingers gently touched my wrist I collapsed into a pile of purple silk on the ground.

"Bella?"

Angela and Alice both kneeled down next to me while I was already trying to stand up again.

"Stay where you are," Angela instructed, wrapping her hand around my wrist to check my pulse.

"This is unnecessary, Angie. I'm good again."

"You don't look too good to me. Jeez, Bella, you're white like a ghost."

"I'm good."

"Why do you always have to act like a baby when you're sick?"

"Because I'm not sick right now," I mumbled between gritted teeth.

"Whatever. Where's your date? I'm sure he'd agree with me that you do look sick."

"He…, I…I…I," the tears started falling like every time when I was too tensed about something.

Alice pulled a tissue out of her handbag and handed it to me while Angela wrapped one arm around my shoulder.

"Hey, you don't have to cry. There is no need to be embarrassed for being sick. I'm sure he'll understand and if he doesn't screw him."

"I'm not here with a guy." I stumbled out, burying my face in my hands.

"She's here with me and I actually think you're right about her being sick. Maybe I should let my father take a look at her."

"She's here with you?"

"Why? Didn't your dates show up so that the two of you ended up here together? Men are such idiots."

"No," I whispered, wiping my running nose on the back of my hand.

"I'm here with her. She's my date."

"She's your what?" her voice raised two octaves.

"My date…like date-date,"

"I fucking know what date means," she snarled at me, standing up from the ground so quickly that she whirled up a bit from the grass underneath us.

I started sobbing again and hoped that she would just be gone once I would manage to calm myself down again to raise my head.

Alice sighed and pulled me against her chest.

"I'm going to ruin your dress with my mascara." I protested halfheartedly.

"I don't care about the stupid dress. I care about you."

She put a wisp of my hair behind my ear and started rubbing my back in small circles.

I sniffed and blinked into Angela's worried face. Why the hell was she still here?

"Aren't you going to run away now?"

"Why? Do you want to be alone with your new…girlfriend?"

I cleared my throat nervously before I spoke up again. It was difficult for me to choose the right words for this kind of conversation. Maybe there weren't any?

"She's not my girlfriend."

I felt Alice stiffen next to me. Great, now I had hurt her feelings. The last thing I wanted to do.

"But it's what I want her to be,"


	8. Fire

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Blows kisses to all her lovely readers out there. The response for the last chapter was so amazing. I'm happy that you liked it that much.

Thanks to my beta **Rosalynn** for helping me make this chapter look prettier for you.

#FAQ#

How old is Bella in this story?

She's twenty-eight and I'm pretty sure there is some hidden psychological reason why I always make her several years older than Alice in my stories. Maybe it's because I'm more attracted to younger women myself?

I'm going to celebrate my third twenty-ninth birthday on Saturday by the way. Isn't that weird that women always want to be older when they're young and then suddenly things are reversed.

****Fire****

"How long?" she asked me, trying desperately to suppress the angry undertone in her voice.

I swallowed the light caramel colored content of the glass in my hands, cringing slightly when I tasted the bitterness of the whisky on my tongue. A moment later a pleasant feeling of warmth and numbness spread to me.

"I thought it would stop eventually if I could just fight and ignore it long enough."

Alice's mouth twitched for a moment before she took my hand in hers and started rubbing circles all over the sensitive skin on my wrist.

"That's not answering my question, Miss Swan," Angela snarled at me; obviously close to losing her patience with me.

"Don't talk to her like that," Alice told her, wrapping her arm around my shoulder in a protective gesture.

"How I am talking to my best friend is none of your fucking business."

"Please, don't fight because of me. It makes me feel awkward."

In addition to the awkwardness this embarrassing situation is already causing, I added secretly.

"Bella, look, it's not like I'm angry at you…well, not only, it's more that I'm disappointed."

I cleared my throat nervously before I spoke up.

"I'm sorry. You have no idea how hard I tried to fight these…feelings. It's nothing that I can control, because I would if I could."

"Are you fucking stupid?"

"Why?"

"God, Bella, I'm not disappointed in you because you are gay. I'm pissed because you were too chicken to tell me. What does that say about the way you see me and our friendship?"

I took several deep breaths in an attempt to keep the tears from falling. It didn't really work and moments later I tasted the first salty drops on my lips.

"Shhh, please don't cry," Alice whispered, gently pulling me closer against her chest.

"It's going to be fine. She'll forgive you."

"Don't you dare speculate about things I'm going to do, or not do. What's between me and Bella is none of your business. You've known her for how long now, a week maybe?"

"Angie, please don't be mad at her. This is not her fault."

"Whatever. I'm leaving now. This conversation is starting to annoy me."

"Wait. Look, Angie, I'm so sorry that I didn't trust you enough. It's just; well I know how conservative your parents are."

"Are you friends with me or my family? Damn it, Bella, you really need to stop thinking of everything in black or white and start seeing the world around you like it really is."

"You're not going to tell anyone?" I asked her, hesitantly.

She rolled her eyes at that and sighed deeply.

"You really don't know me at all, do you? Damn it, why the hell would I tell anyone?"

"Not on purpose of course."

"I'm not that stupid to tell stuff to people accidentally."

Unlike me…

"Thanks,"

"You don't have to thank me. I'm still your friend and friends keep each other's secrets."

XXXX

"Something is wrong with that kid," Charlie stated, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

I continued stirring the pot of chili con carne that was cooking on the stove and sighed deeply.

"You just don't like him because you caught him driving too fast."

"It hasn't got to do with that at all. Mike drives too fast to, but he's still a nice guy."

"Is Mike paying all of you for the constant advertising? Jeez, first you, then mom and Angie…,"

"Honey, that's just because all of us want to see you happy."

"Yeah, I know. But I don't like Mike and just for the record I don't like Edward either. He and I are just friends."

"Hmm, whatever, sweetie. You'll find the right guy, I'm sure about that."

Oh dad, if you knew, I thought bitterly. No, there was no way I could tell him about the whole, well, situation I was in. My father wasn't exactly a homophobic but the snidely comments he always made when he saw two men kissing on TV proved it to me pretty well that he wasn't the biggest supporter of gays. Damn it, why did all of this have to be so fucking complicated?

The phone started ringing and I quickly picked it up before Charlie could reach for the receiver.

"Swan,"

"It's me."

"Oh hi, Angie,"

"What are you doing right now?"

"Cooking for Charlie and you?"

"I'm talking to you. You actually know that I'm not that good at the whole multitasking thing."

"Hmm, I know."

There was an awkward moment of silence before she finally cleared her throat and spoke up again.

"Look, I called because I was curious about your…girlfriend. She's not rushing you into this, is she?"

"No, she's not."

I walked out into the hall before I continued.

"Alice is pretty supportive."

"That probably means that she likes you a lot."

"I hope so."

"Are you in love with her?"

"I'm not sure."

"Hmm?"

"I don't think I've ever really been before, so it's hard to tell."

"Do you have butterflies in your stomach when you think about her?"

"Tons,"

"That's usually a good sign. Or maybe it's just some physical attraction."

"I can't stop thinking about her. Am I going crazy?"

"Do you think you've ever been normal? You've always been a little weird, even when we were still kids."

"Probably,"

"Talking about kids, Bella, don't you think she's a little too young for you? I mean twenty, that's eight years younger than you. She probably just finished school."

"She's nineteen, not twenty."

"God, she _is_ a child."

"I assure you, she's not. It doesn't feel to me like she's so much younger. Maybe it's because she's more experienced in the whole…well, you-know-what-I-mean."

"Hmm, I just hope you know what you're getting yourself into."

"No, I don't. Like I told you, I've never felt this way before."

"When are you going to see her again?"

"Tonight, Charlie is having friends over to watch our loser football team getting their asses kicked."

"Does she live with her parents?"

"No, with her brother and his…boyfriend," I whispered.

"Oh, the two sweeties that were at the wedding? They were so damn cute together. Say hi for me if you see them."

"They won't be home tonight. Edward has some job as a piano player in a restaurant and Jasper has started working there as a barkeeper so that they could spend more time together."

"Ohh, that's so cute! Ben would never do something like that for me."

"Something's burning!" Charlie called from the kitchen.

God, how did this man manage to feed himself all the years I wasn't around? No, wonder the waitress in the stupid diner is always making puppy eyes at him when we eat there. He probably used to hang around there every single day.

"I have to look after Charlie's dinner. Can we talk tomorrow?"

"Of course, we can. Are you going to give me all the dirty details about tonight?"

"No way,"

XXXX

"There you are," she greeted me, wrapping her arms around me as soon as she opened the door.

"I missed you," I told her, waving with the pink Lillie blossom, I had been hiding behind my back.

"I missed you too, so very much."

When she cupped my face between her hands and pulled me closer to plant a kiss on my mouth I instinctively shrugged back.

"Is something wrong?"

With you? Definitely not, it's just me that is so ridiculously scared that someone could see us kiss here on the steps to her apartment.

"I'm sorry. I just don't want your neighbors to think that…,"

She shook her head and pulled me into the apartment, kicking the door with her foot to close it with a loud bang.

"Bella, I don't give a shit about the stupid neighbors and neither should you."

"Hmm,"

I kissed her mouth very gently and twisted my hands into her short hair.

"Can't I get a real kiss?" she asked me, letting the fingertip of her thumb brush over my lower lip.

"If you want one," I mumbled, before I kissed her again, nudging the tip of my tongue against her closed mouth until she gasped for air. Slowly I slipped my tongue between her slightly parted lips, swirling it around in the sweetness of her mouth before I suckled the tip of her tongue between my own lips to massage it gently with lips and tongue.

"Was that real enough?" I asked when I managed to pull back after a few moments.

"It's a start, a good one to be exact."

I took her hand in mine and planted a kiss on her palm, letting the tip of my tongue taste the saltiness of her skin. No, not really salty, more like honey with sea salt. "What do you want to do tonight?"

"We could try to cook again, although that would probably be difficult considering the fact that we have nothing but tomatoes and peanut butter in the fridge. Jasper was supposed to do some grocery shopping but he tends to forget unpleasant chores."

"Hmm, I think I can understand that, so, no cooking, tonight. It doesn't matter, I already ate."

"Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Do you?"

She chuckled nervously and pulled me into the tiny room of hers at the end of the floor.

"Maybe later,"

"Okay."

I looked around before I finally sat down on the edge of her bed, simply because it was the only available place.

"You would actually have a lot more space in here if you put all of your clothes in the closet."

"There's no space in there. And my brother threatened to burn my shoe collection if I'd starting storing them in the living room."

"Maybe you should consider sorting them out then."

"Bella, I love my clothes and to what I love I can't say goodbye to."

A warm tingly feeling spread through me and a wave of love, or at least I thought it was love managed to quicken my heartbeat so much that it was almost painful.

"How do you like the bed?" she asked suddenly, sitting down behind me and pulling my hair over my shoulder. Her lips brushed over the exposed skin of my neck, sending a pleasant shiver down my spine.

"The bed?" I asked back, not really able to form reasonable thoughts while the tip of her tongue grazed the shell of my ear.

"Yes, the bed. It's new."

I wondered why she had bought a new one and one that was way too big for the little space she had in here. The frame of the bed practically filled out the entire room.

"It's pretty," I mumbled, closing my eyes for a moment to enjoy the tender caress of her fingertips stroking down my collarbone.

"But you are way prettier," I whispered, slowly turning my head to kiss her soft lips again. She smiled against my mouth before she sucked my upper lip between her teeth to nibble on it.

Hesitantly I slipped my hand underneath the collar of her blouse to touch the soft skin on her cleavage.

"We don't have to," I murmured, swallowing hard when my fingertips brushed against the lace edges of her bra.

"I know, pretty-one, but I really want you. No, I need you touch me. You make me feel all tingly whenever you look at me."

I flipped her over so that she was straddling me and sucked the pearly skin on her collarbone between my teeth. When I pulled back I swirled my tongue over the deep red mark I had left on her.

With trembling fingers I unbuttoned her blouse, throwing it carelessly at the other side of the bed. Then I leaned forward and stroked over her lace covered breasts, feeling the tiny nubs of her nipples growing hard under the touch of my hand. I fumbled at the clasp of her bra, earning myself a low, guttural chuckle coming deep from her throat.

When the tenacious piece of fabric fell down next to the bed I leaned forward and swirled my tongue around the rosy skin of her breasts before I sucked one of the hardened tips between my lips to suckle it greedily.

She twisted her hands into my hair and a low whimper left her throat when I rolled her other nipple between my thumb and my forefinger.

"Touch me," she whispered hoarsely, her voice barely audible.

"Alice, I'm already touching you." I whispered back, grazing the shell of her ear with my teeth while I continued massaging her perky breasts with my hands.

"Please, touch me," she repeated, taking one of my hands in hers to guide it to the zipper of her jeans.

I felt a trail of fresh wetness soaking my underwear when I thought about touching her _there_. God, Isabella, get your grip together. You have to make this good for her or she'll probably think you're some inexperienced loser that has no clue what she's doing. Okay, technically, I didn't have a clue.

"Stop thinking, pretty-one."

"Hmm,"

"Give me your hand. You don't have to be afraid of doing something wrong."

"Hmm,"

Our interlaced fingers pulled down her zipper and when my fingertips touched the lace fabric of her panties I could feel the slick moisture through it.

I shoved them down her slim legs together with her jeans and planted a soft kiss on her mouth before I kissed my way down her upper body, swirling my tongue over her belly button.

Then I lowered my fingers until it reached the small stripe of silky curls between her legs, gently parting them apart so that I could caress the inside of her thighs with my other hand

She took my hand in hers again and when I coated my fingers into her slick wetness a low moan escaped her lips.

Slowly I stroked her from her entrance up to the tiny pearl of her clit that pulsated against the tip of my forefinger.

"Yes, just like that," she whispered against my neck when she wrapped her arms around me to pull me against her body.

I circled my fingers up and down her slit, rubbing my palm against the sensitive bundle of nerves above her entrance.

"Let me touch you, too, pretty-one."

"Later," I mumbled, pressing my thighs against each other to lessen the throbbing friction between them.

"I want to make this good for you."

She kissed my lips tenderly and moaned into my mouth when I slipped my tongue between her soft lips.

"It is way better for me when I can make you feel good too. This is about us…not just me."

I nodded my head and closed my eyes when her hand moved under my skirt pulling the already damp fabric of my underwear to the side.

When her gentle fingers touched my overheated flesh, I had to press the back of my hand against my mouth to keep me from moaning out loudly.

She caressed the throbbing pearl of my clit and shoved two fingers inside of me curling them upwards to rub them against the sensitive spot deep inside of me. My legs started trembling.

I circled her clit with my thumb and gently slipped one finger into her entrance, gasping for air when her inner walls stretched around my middle finger. She was so warm and so tight, so incredibly tight. Was I hurting her?

When she inhaled sharply between her teeth I quickly pulled back but she wrapped her hand around my wrist to stop me.

"Please, don't stop. I want you to touch me like that. It's just...,"

She whimpered and I carefully slipped my finger back into her warm entrance again.

After a few moments she relaxed a bit and I added a second finger. God, she was so tight and warm, she felt like heaven.

My inner walls tightened and I instantly hold my breath when the release of my climax rushed through my body.

A heartbeat later a trail of fresh wetness poured over my fingers inside of her, before she clenched and unclenched around them over and over again.

I raised my head and the concentrated expression on her flushed face, eyes closed, her lower lip sucked into her mouth was so beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes. Her entire body was covered in a thin layer of sweat, making her pale skin almost appear translucent to me.

Like a pearl, I thought. She looks like a precious little pearl in a seashell.

Tenderly I cupped her face between my hands, planting soft kisses over her eyelids and the tip of her nose until she finally opened her eyes again.

"My beautiful, gorgeous, little pearl," I whispered against her lips, before I kissed her mouth so lightly that her soft lips were barely touching mine.

Her mouth curved into a smile and when her eyes met mine again; I knew it, knew it without any doubt that I was irrevocably in love with her.

XOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXO

[A/N] Reviews are like realizing you're in love, no not quite like that but they still make a girl happy. So leave me some love and press the review button down there before you leave.


	9. Lost & Delirious

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Blows kisses to all her awesome readers out there. Thank you for reading and reviewing my story. Your support means so much to me.

Thanks to my beta **Rosalynn** for helping me make this chapter look prettier for you.

****Lost and Delirious****

I'm in love, I thought, actually and really in love. My heartbeat quickened instantly while my lips automatically curved into a smile that probably looked more like a stupid grin.

"Isabella?"

"Hmm,"

"Did you hear anything I said to you?"

"Sorry, mom, I was a bit distracted."

"Try to concentrate a little more. Men don't like erratic girls."

"Mom,"

"I'm serious. You need to catch a husband before your breasts lose the war with gravity."

"Mom, did you come here to insult me?"

"No, I didn't. I came to talk to your father, because his mother called me. She obviously thinks we're still married. I'm really curious how he's going to explain that to me."

Oh mother, I thought bitterly, Grandma Helen also thinks that Kennedy is still the president. It's called dementia and there is nothing that you can do against it.

"Dad won't be here that soon. He's working overtime."

"Then I'll wait here until he comes back. Or do you have plans for tonight that I should know about?"

_You? Know about my plans? Definitely not…_

The doorbell rang and I stood up from my chair to open it.

"Hi there," she greeted me cheerfully, wrapping her arms around my neck to plant a kiss on my cheek.

"You look pretty."

"Sshhh, my mother is here. She kind of invited herself in."

"Isabella?" Renee called from the kitchen.

I gave Alice a worried look but she just took my hand in hers and squeezed it gently for a moment before we walked into the kitchen.

"Hello, I'm Alice. It's nice to meet you, Mrs…it's not Swan anymore is it?"

"The actual name is Dwyer but you can just call me Renee. It makes me feel less old."

"Fine, so Renee it is. Are you here to visit Bella?"

"No, I have stuff to discuss with my ex-husband."

"Hmm,"

"I like the dress, you're wearing. Isabella is not really interested in fashion and it's so important that a girl tries to look nice."

"That's true, but I think she looks lovely. Bella's hair is so pretty."

She started stroking my thigh underneath the able and I felt as if I was about to faint that very moment.

"What are the two of you planning to do tonight?" Renee asked her curiously.

"We're going to a party."

"Are there going to be some attractive young men too? Isabella really needs to find a nice boyfriend again. She's been alone for far too long."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Alice mumbled towards the floor.

"Hmm, me too, I'm starting to worry about her."

_The two of them know that I'm still here, don't they?_

"She's a little bit shy," Alice stated after a while.

"I know, but on the other hand some men are into shy girls."

"Probably,"

"Do you have a boyfriend, Alice?"

"No, I don't."

"That's sad. You're such a nice girl. Are you still in school?"

"I finished a year ago and now I'm doing some volunteer work in the hospital until I decide what I want to do."

"Do you want to become a doctor?"

"Maybe, but I'm not sure. It's really difficult and I'm not very…good at handling all the blood and stuff like that."

"Hmm,"

She checked the time on the small silver watch on her wrist and stood up from her chair. Then she put one arm on my shoulder and put a wisp of my hair behind my ear in a tender gesture.

"We should leave now, are you ready?"

I turned my head and for a split second I thought about kissing her mouth. Then I realized that Renee was in the same room and that it was impossible. An unpleasant wave of sadness rushed through me and I cleared my throat nervously before I spoke up.

"Yes, I'm ready." Or maybe, I'll never be, I thought bitterly while I followed her out of the house.

"Your mother is nice," she stated, while she searched for her car keys in her handbag.

"Have you ever thought about telling her the truth?"

"What for? She wouldn't understand it."

I sat down on the passenger's seat and sighed deeply.

"Look, I'm sorry. You're probably disappointed now because I didn't tell her who you really are."

"Who I really am?"

"What you are to me."

"What am I to you?"

I took her hand in mine and planted a soft kiss on her palm.

"Don't make me say it. I'm not that good with words…but last night I realized that I like you."

She chuckled and turned on the engine that roared and chattered.

"I like you too, Bella,"

The engine roared again, this time so loud that I had to press my hands against my ears.

"And I'm sorry about the stupid car. The thing always makes noises like that in the last time."

"How about letting a mechanic take a look at it?"

"I'm afraid of all the stuff that needs to be repaired. I don't really have money to get it fixed."

"Hmm,"

I placed my hand on her bare knee and felt her shiver under my gentle caress.

"I like you a lot, Bella. But I wished you wouldn't be so afraid to tell people who you really are."

"I told Angela."

"See? And nothing bad happened. She's still your friend, isn't she?"

"Yes, she is. I'm really glad about that."

"Did she ask about me?"

"Yes, she did. Angie is pretty curious."

"What did she ask you?"

"If I'm in love with you,"

"And what did you tell her?"

"That I'm not sure. I've never been in love before."

She stepped on the brakes that squeaked loudly on the dry asphalt.

Then she turned to me and cupped my face between her hands.

"And now?" she whispered.

"And now what?"

Her fingertips stroked down my cheekbones until they reached the edges of my mouth and touched my lower lip very gently.

"Now, I'm sure that I am and that scares me."

"Don't be afraid."

Her lips found mine in the darkness of the car and I wrapped my arms around her waist to pull her closer to me. A sweet scent of vanilla floated my nose and I inhaled deeply to absorb as much of it as possible.

The tip of her tongue nudged against my closed lips until I finally parted them a little to let her tongue slip into my mouth to massage my own very gently.

I was still afraid of my own feelings. They made me vulnerable in a strange, unfamiliar way but still I knew that from this point on it was all or nothing. There was no way back for me and I hoped, desperately, that I would manage to be strong enough for the things to come.

XXXX

There was a certain reason why I avoided parties like albinos avoided the sun. Drunken people scared me and I had never been a very outgoing person. What was the point in spending time with a bunch of strangers that made stupid comments all the time?

Alice on the other hand seemed to know each and everybody in the small apartment that was terribly crowded.

"Are you okay? You're so quiet."

She put her arms around my waist and pulled me closer.

"Try to relax. This is going to be fun."

"Cullen!"

She turned around, her hand still around my middle and cleared her throat nervously.

"Hi, Bree, how's it going?"

"Fine, Vic and I split up because she's a stupid, cheating bitch."

"I hate to remind you, but weren't you the one that cheated on her first?"

"That doesn't count. We weren't really together when it happened."

"Whatever. You know that I see these things different."

Bree chuckled and handed her a small plastic cup with green Jell-O.

"Try,"

Alice took a small bite and frowned.

"That tastes awful. What the hell did you put in there?"

"Just some Vodka," Bree explained giggling sheepishly.

"Really?" Alice asked her skeptically before she took another sip and emptied the cup in one big gulp.

"Do you want to have some more?"

She nodded her head and took two other cups from the tray Bree was balancing on her right hip.

"Are you sure that you should drink more of that stuff? You don't even seem to like it." I asked her worriedly.

"Alcohol isn't supposed to taste good."

"That's right but you're too young to drink anyway."

"Party pooper,"

I rolled my eyes at that while she swallowed the content of both cups down with a tortured expression on her face. I wondered why she was doing that. It was so obvious that she didn't like it at all.

Afterwards a beautiful, bright crimson blush covered her cheeks and I planted a kiss on her lips. They tasted sweet like the Jell-O but there was still the tart hint of the Vodka in it.

"I'm not too young for you, am I?" she asked suddenly, twisting my hair around her fingers while my back touched the cold wall behind me.

"No, you're not. It doesn't matter to me how old you are."

"That's good to hear. I was really worried about that."

"You don't have to be. When I told you that I'm in love with you, I meant it."

I kissed her again and my fingertips brushed over the exposed skin on her neck.

"I'm in love with you too," she mumbled against my trembling mouth while her right hand stroked up and down my bare forearm.

"So very much and I wished we could tell the whole world about it,"

I stiffened next to her and cleared my throat nervously before I spoke up.

"Please, we can't do that. I don't want everyone to know that I'm different."

"Are you ashamed of me?"

"Of you? Of course not, why would I be ashamed of you?"

"Because you want to hide me as if I was some kind of dirty secret that you don't want anyone to know about,"

"I told Angela."

"So you did tell her, her and no one else. What do you want for that? A gold medal?"

"Alice, please don't be mad at me. I really like you a lot. Can't you understand that the whole situation is difficult for me?"

"Do you think it's easy for me?"

"Yes, no…I don't really know."

"Then let me give you a little clue."

She grabbed another one of the awful Vodka Jell-O shots and emptied it with a slurping noise.

"I'm scared shitless that this isn't going to work. I don't want to get hurt because you're too chicken to tell your parents and other people about us."

"I would never hurt you."

"Bella, I already told you not to make a promise that you can't keep."

Then she sat down on the floor and put her head between her knees. I kneeled down next to her and put my arm around her.

"Are you okay? Please, don't cry now."

A dry sob escaped her throat before she burst out into tears.

"If you really liked me, you would tell Renee."

"Alice, it's not like that."

"It's exactly like that. You are ashamed of me and that isn't going to change."

"I'm not ashamed of you. Please, stop thinking that. You're wonderful. I'm the one that you should be ashamed of."

"No, I couldn't…ever,"

I pulled a tissue out of my handbag and wiped the trail of mascara that was running down her face away from her cheekbone.

"I'm feeling dizzy."

"Maybe you should stop drinking that disgusting stuff."

"But I don't want you to think that I'm a stupid baby."

"You think getting drunk makes you appear older?"

"A bit,"

"Oh, little pearl, you know so much and on the other hand you know so little."

I helped her up and guided her out into the small garden behind the house where I sat down on a bench and pulled her on my lap.

"Am I going to be sick?"

I hope not, I thought. That would probably kill off the romantic atmosphere.

"Try to take deep breaths and drink some of that."

I pulled a bottle of water out of my handbag and put it to her mouth.

"Drink, it'll help you to feel better."

She took a small sip and sighed.

"This is embarrassing."

"No, it's not."

"Do you want me to drive you home now?"

"You think I'm letting you drive now? Give me your keys."

"Try to get them,"

She giggled and waved with them in front of my face. When I tried to grab them she leaned to the side so that we both landed flat on the ground. I put her hands over her head and kissed the crock of her neck, letting my tongue swirl over her salty skin. God, she tasted so good.

"Get a room,"

I sat up and raised my head to look into the grinning face of Alice's brown haired brother.

"What are you doing here, Alice?"

"Fighting for the car keys, she's trying to steal them from me."

"Nobody wants to steal that rust bucket from you." he stated calmly while he helped her to stand up again.

"She doesn't want to tell her parents that I'm her girlfriend."

"I can understand that. Who wants to be together with a little boozehound?"

"I didn't drink that much. Bella, tell him that I didn't drink that much."

"She didn't drink that much."

"Just for the record; you shouldn't drink at all."

"Mind your own business. I can do what I want."

"If it makes you happy, you can drink yourself into a delirium."

"How can you say something like that to your sister? What if she gets alcohol poisoning or some other crap?"

"Maybe it would teach her a lesson. Anyway, you really should bring her home now, before she blows."

"I'm not going to be sick."

"Don't make a promise that you can't keep for sure."

"I hate you, Edward. You make me look like a stupid baby in front of my girlfriend."

"So, the two of you are together now. I mean officially?"

I nodded my head while Alice giggled again and started braiding my hair.

"She has so pretty hair,"

"Yes, she has. Try not to pull it out. I don't know if you'd still like her if she were bald."

"You are so mean. I like Emmett way more than you."

"Then why aren't you living with him?"

"Because I hate his girlfriend, I mean…his wife."

"I know, shorty. Are you going to stay at Bella's house tonight?"

"That's none of your damn…,"

"Yeah, I get it. Have fun and be safe. Oh and Bella?"

"Yes,"

"Promise me to take care of her, will you?"

I nodded my head and wrapped my jacket around her shoulder.

When I turned around he placed one arm on my shoulder to stop me.

"Wait, I'm really serious about this. Alice has a pretty, big mouth but deep inside her she's…well, I guess you find out."

"I'm not going to hurt her."

"Then I suggest that you work on that issues that you have with coming out."

I sighed deeply and pulled Alice towards me, so that the spikey ends of her hair tickled the skin on my neck.

"I promise, I will. I want to make this work for the two of us. I really do."

XOXOXOXOXOXXOXXO

[A/N] So do you think Bella is finally coming out of her shell? I know that her behavior is starting to annoy some of you, but in real life there are people like her that have severe problems with coming out. It's not an easy thing to do and I think that's because of the negative association we have with homosexuality.


	10. But I'm a Cheerleader!

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer, because if I did Bella would be with Alice now.

[A/N] I'd love to have a banner for this story. If you're interested in making one for me, pm me :-)

****But I'm a Cheerleader!****

I woke up much too early for my liking because something silky tickled the skin on my chest. She whimpered and turned around, pressing her lips against the crock of my neck.

"Morning, pretty-one." She mumbled so low that her voice was barely audible.

"I highly doubt that I look pretty now." I whispered back before I sat up and twisted my messy hair into a knot at the back of my neck.

"But you do," I told her; putting one of her dark curls behind her ear before I leaned over and planted a kiss on her soft lips.

She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me closer, sending a pleasant shiver down my spine when the tip of her tongue nudged against my lower lip.

"Can I take a shower before I leave?"

"If you want to,"

"With you?"

With me? Why in heaven's name would she want to take a shower with me? Oh right, for that.

I giggled and took her hand in mine to pull her to the tiny bathroom at the end of the corridor.

When I closed the door behind us, she kissed me again, slowly at first, almost hesitantly. Then I sucked her upper lip between my teeth to nibble on it and a low moan escaped her throat.

Our clothes landed on a small pile on the cold ground next to us while my hands stoked up and down her spine in small circles. When the first warm drops of the shower trickled down on our bodies I pulled her closer against me. I leaned forward and sucked the pearly white skin on her collarbone between my lips. Her skin tasted heavenly, like a perfect mixture of salt and honey. Did all women taste like that or was it just her?

She splashed some of my Freesia scented body wash into her hands before she started so rub it over my breasts and the rest of my upper body. When she returned to the soft roundness of my breasts and squeezed the sensitive nubs between her thumb and her forefinger, I had to press my lips against each other to keep me from moaning out loud.

I cupped her perky breasts in my hands and circled my tongue over the pebbled nipples before I closed my mouth around one of the rosy tips to suckle it gently while my other hand moved lower down on her flat stomach until I reached the small stripe of silky, black curls between her legs.

My fingertips moved up and down her overheated, moist flesh while her hands massaged my breasts in gentle, feather light movements that managed to set my entire boy on an invisible fire. Then finally, finally her right hand moved between my thighs and my legs started to tremble a bit, making it more difficult for me to remain standing. So, I kneeled down in front of her, careful not to accidentally slip on the ground. I realized that my face was now directly in front of her bare outer lips and my cheeks blushed into a bright crimson red. Slowly I parted her with two of my fingers and dipped my thumb into her slick wetness, making her whimper slightly when I moved it up and down her slit, circling gently over the tiny pearl right above her entrance.

I took a deep breath to absorb as much of her musky scent as possible. She smelled divine, like nothing I had ever smelled before. Hesitantly my tongue dart out to taste her velvety flesh, drawing small circles from her entrance up to the sensitive bundle of nerves around her clit.

I had no clue what I was doing here but when another of her moans escaped her lips I knew that she was enjoying the way my tongue moved up and down between her slick folds.

More of her essence poured into my mouth and I carefully shoved two of my fingers into her tight entrance to curl them upwards. My tongue swirled over her throbbing pearl and a heartbeat later her inner walls tightened so forcefully around my fingers inside her that it was almost painful.

She pulled me up again and for a moment I wondered if she would want me to kiss her now, now that I would taste so much of her. It didn't seem to bother her one tiny bit.

Tenderly she cupped my face between her hands and nudged her lips against mine, swirling the tip of her tongue over my lower lip until I parted my mouth and she plucked her tongue between my lips to caress the inside of my mouth.

Her fingertips found my clit again while she rolled my hardened nipples between the fingers of her other hand. Somehow in a wondrously way she seemed to have found a direct connection between my breasts and my clit because when she gently started nibbling on one of the sensitive nubs a wave of lust went straight to my core that didn't subside until the muscles in my stomach tightened and the waves of my climax made me collapse on the ground of the shower as if suddenly I had not a single bone left in my body.

She kneeled down next to me and kissed my mouth over and over again until the water above us finally went cold.

XXXXX

Living with Charlie was very much like having a place of my own. Firstly because he was usually working all the time so he wasn't much around anyway and secondly because unlike Renee he didn't feel the urge to fill every moment with unnecessary conversation.

But today it was different and I had a certain feeling that his being so bubbly this morning had a lot to do with my beautiful girlfriend who asked him more about his work as the chief of police than I ever had in my entire life.

"Did you ever shoot someone?" she asked him curiously while she added another spoon of sugar into the coffee mug in front of her.

"Me? No never, but sometimes the idea is quite tempting."

He chuckled and took another bite from the burned toast on his plate. His lame attempt on showing me that he was able to cook for himself.

"Tell your brother that he needs to stop driving so fast all the time. Deputy Stephen caught him again last night."

"I will, but that's pretty useless. He's quite stubborn when it comes to criticize his driving style."

"Hmm, I see. Maybe I should have a talk with him about that. You have no idea how many young men die every year on the highway just because they…,"

"Dad, I've heard those stories a hundred times since I got my license. They're starting to get a little boring."

"Whatever."

Then he cleared his throat before he spoke up again.

"Can I ask you something? That weird blond guy that was in the car with you the other day, is that your boyfriend?"

"Jasper?"

She wrinkled her nose and quickly shook her head.

"Not if the two of us were the last remaining people on earth. He's Edward's boyfriend."

"He's what?" Charlie's voice raised two octaves.

"They are gay? Like Elton John gay?"

_How many kinds of gay do you know, dad? Oh crap…_

"Do you have a problem with that, Charlie?" she asked him, making her voice sound smooth like honey.

"Hmm,"

"It's not like they have a choice," I stumbled out, spilling the content of my coffee cup all over the table.

I stood up and grabbed a cloth to wipe it up again, while I desperately tried to calm myself down again.

"I'm not saying that they have one," he stated, sipping on the glass of orange juice in front of him.

"Just that it's not natural. I mean, it's pretty obvious why someone would fall for a woman but a guy? The pure thought to touch a man makes me want to vomit in my mouth."

_Not only you, dad…_

"What do your parents say to that?" he asked Alice after a few, awkward moments of silence.

"They're happy as long he's happy." she explained while she took my hand under the table and squeezed it gently. My heart skipped a beat and I heard the blood rushing in my ears. Maybe it would be a good idea to try some fainting now? Come on, Isabella, just faint already, it'll give you some more time to think.

"Dad…," I started hesitantly when I realized that I wouldn't be able to make myself faint on command.

"Yes, Bella?"

"Oh, it's nothing." I mumbled towards the ground. Damn it, why was it so difficult for me to do this?

Alice cleared her throat and wrapped one arm around my shoulder while my mouth suddenly felt way too dry to bring out any reasonable words. An unpleasant wave of panic spread through my body and before I could manage to compose myself I tasted the first, salty teardrops on the tip of my tongue.

"Shhh, it's okay." Alice told me, pulling me closer against her chest while I took several deep breaths in an attempt to calm down again.

"Are you sick?" Charlie asked me worriedly.

"No, I'm not."

"Then why are you crying now? You're not in love with one of those faggots, are you?"

"No," I stumbled out hoarsely.

"Definitely not,"

"Good, because that would have been pretty pointless, Bella. You'll find the right one soon enough. Maybe you should…,"

"Dad, if you mention Mike Newton just one more time, I swear, I'm going to throw up."

"Don't be like that, Bells. He's such a nice guy. Good family and everything."

"I don't like him or no, that's not true. I like him but I don't _like_ him. If you want to know the truth, I don't like any guys at all."

"Bella, you're hysterical like your mother. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I, I…I…I'm in love with someone."

"He's not married, is he? Damn it, I'm going to break his jaw for that."

"No, he's not married. God, dad, it's not a guy!"

A dry sob escaped my throat and more tears soaked the fabric of Alice's shirt.

She planted a soft kiss on my hair and started stroking my back in small circles.

"Please, don't be mad at Bella. This is already difficult enough for her." she whispered while I tried to rub a bit of the smeared mascara from my eyes.

"I'm with her, dad."

"What do you mean that you are with her? She's a girl, for crying out loud."

"Hmm,"

"You're not turning into a lesbian because you don't like any of the men here in town, are you?"

"That hasn't got anything to do with that." I stated, trying to make my voice sound less shaky.

"I don't' like guys…at all, I never did, I never will. So now you know the ugly truth, do you want me to move out now?"

"Move out? You think that I'm kicking you out because of this?"

"Yes, no, I don't really know. All I know is that you hate homos and now your only child turned into one and I don't know if you'll be able to forgive me."

I sniffed and Alice pulled a tissue out of her pocket that she handed me to clean my nose.

"I don't get it." He mumbled after a while, standing up from the table and walking round in the small kitchen like an animal in a cage.

"You don't look like a lesbian. She doesn't look like a lesbian. Damn it, she wears more makeup than Renee and is way too girly to be a dyke."

"Dad…,"

"Is this a phase or permanent?" he asked me, while he searched for something in the corner of the cupboard over the sink.

"We're together now and I really hope that it's not just a phase. I really like Bella a lot."

"I like you too," I whispered, interlacing the fingers of our right hand before I put them to my mouth to blow a kiss on the back of her hand.

Charlie pulled out a tiny bottle with a caramel colored liquid and poured some of it into his coffee. Then he emptied the cup with one big gulp.

"Well, if this is what makes you happy…," He whispered, taking another sip from the small bottle.

"Although you don't really seem that happy to me now,"

"That's just because I'm so nervous. I was so afraid to tell you because I knew that you wouldn't understand it."

"Hmm, you're right about that. I don't understand it and I don't think it's necessary for me to do so. This is your life and you're the one who is supposed to be happy with the choices you make for it. Not me and certainly not your crazy mother."

Then he cleared his throat before he spoke up again.

"Just do me a favor and make sure that I'm not in the same room with her when you tell Renee, because she's definitely going to blame me for that. Just like she always blames me for everything she doesn't like about you."

A wave of panic spread through me. Wasn't I supposed to feel relieved now? A tiny little bit?

It didn't happen, but when my eyes met Alice's, I knew that everything was going to be okay. At least I hoped so and that was all that I could do right now.

XOXXOXOXOXXXOXXOX

[A/N] Now, aren't we all a little proud of Bella that she told Charlie? Leave me some love and press the review button down there.

Or follow me on Twitter -MyTwiDreams


	11. Better than chocolate

[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] I apologize for taking so long to update this story. This is the last chapter for **Coming In**. It was a pleasure for me to write this one and I hope that you enjoyed reading it.

****Better than chocolate****

"You don't have to do this, if you feel like you're not ready for doing it." She reminded me a second time when I parked the car in front of my mother's house.

A deep sigh escaped my lips before I forced them into a half smile and spoke up again, my voice trembling slightly. God, I was already so terribly tensed and nervous.

"I want to tell her about us. You are important to me and you don't deserve to be kept a secret. I know it makes you feel bad."

She took my hand and started drawing fine, invisible circles all over my wrist. Then she put it against her lips and planted a soft kiss on my palm.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"Yes, no…well, I don't know how she's going to react. I don't want her to be rude to you or something like that."

Slowly she leaned forward to put a wisp of my hair behind my ear, sending a pleasant shiver down my spine when her fingertips grazed the shell of my ear for a split second.

"Don't worry. I can handle that. I'm more worried about you. It's going to break your heart if she doesn't handle your Coming Out well."

I nodded my head and stepped out of the car. When we walked towards the entrance of the small house my mother had bought with her current husband I almost tripped over my own feet.

Alice wrapped her arms around my middle to keep me upright.

"Try not to hurt yourself." She whispered, caressing my bare forearm gently while I tried to get my breathing under control again. Right now, I felt a lot like crying.

"Oh Bella, it's so nice that you decided to visit me and Phil." My mom greeted me cheerfully when she opened the door.

"He's still at practice but will probably be back for dinner."

The question was would I still be around for dinner. Maybe she would freak and throw me out of the house.

"I brought someone with me, if you don't mind."

Jeez, what sort of crappy start was that supposed to be?

"No, of course not," she replied when we followed her into the living room. The house was already crowded and I wondered if my mother had some hidden tendencies to becoming a messy.

She sure as hell had difficulties throwing away stuff.

"How are you…it's… Alice, isn't it? I'm not that good with names."

You are not good with remembering things at all, mother, I thought, wiping my sweating palms on the fabric of my jeans skirt.

"Coke would be nice if you have some."

"Fine, I'll get you one. Bella, do you want some too?"

I quickly shook my head and cleared my throat nervously.

"No thanks, mom,"

Alice took my hand in hers and squeezed it gently, rubbing her thumb over the pulse point on my wrist in an attempt to calm me down a bit. It wasn't really helping but still it felt nice that she was so caring and supportive with me. Somewhere deep inside of me I wondered if it shouldn't be the other way round.

I wanted to protect her and yet despite me being the older one in our relationship it was as if she was my protector all the time.

My mother returned from the kitchen and placed the glass with the coke in front of Alice, who let go of my hand to take a small sip from it.

"Bella, is there something that you would like to tell me?" her voice sounded a bit too shrill in my ears and I wondered if she had already figured out the reason for my visit here.

"Ahm, yes mom," I stumbled out, feeling the tears running down my cheeks. It was an embarrassing habit that I always had to cry when I was nervous. Yet there was nothing I could do about it.

"Does _that_ man already now?" she asked me, sitting down across from us on the edge of an armchair.

"Yes, I told Dad. He's not exactly thrilled but he said that as long as I'm happy…,"

"And what does the father say to all of that?"

"Which father?"

She raised one eyebrow and stared down on my upper body. What the hell was she looking for?

"So that this one thing is clear, Isabella – I will never ever be called grandma by this kid. I'm too young to be anyone's grandmother. That doesn't mean I'm not happy about you being pregnant."

"Pregnant?" I repeated, almost choking on the word.

"What makes you think that I'm pregnant?"

"You are not?"

I shook my head and took Alice's hand in mine again, desperately holding on to it as if it were a life vest.

"Renee, what made you think that Bella could be expecting?"

"Well, she was so ridiculously nervous when she called me yesterday and then she brought you with her like she would need some sort of rear cover."

Alice giggled and wrapped her arm around my shoulder, caressing the length of my hair with gentle movements.

"She is nervous but definitely not because she's going to have a baby."

"Mom," I started hesitantly, trying desperately to remember one of the phrases I had learned by heart in order to make this conversation a little bit easier.

"I have to tell you something. It has to do with Alice…,"

"Is she the one who's pregnant?"

"Mom, for heaven's sake, stop with the pregnancy crap. None of us is pregnant. None of us will ever be pregnant. Point."

"There is no need to be so harsh, Isabella. I really would like to know why you are always like that. You must have inherited that from that man….,"

"That man has a name, you know? It's Charlie, in case you couldn't remember it."

"Don't be like that."

"Sorry, my nerves aren't the best right now."

"They never have been. Alice, is she like that around you too? You have to know that Isabella is terribly moody at some times,"

"Oh, I don't mind. Jasper is like that too. I can handle PMS-ing pretty well."

"Is Jasper your boyfriend?"

"No, he's not. Jasper isn't exactly my type."

"Hmm, I see."

"Mom," I whispered so low that my voice was barely audible.

"Mom, do you love me?"

"For heaven's sake, kid, what did you do? Please tell me that you didn't hook up with one of the high school kids you're working with. I don't want to see you end up being arrested by your father for statuary rape or something like that."

My mother definitely watches too much bad TV…

"No, it's not like that."

Alice pulled me closer and started drawing fine, invisible circles over the bare skin on my forearm.

"I'm in love with Alice."

The words came out so fast that I was almost a hundred percent sure that Renee couldn't have understood one syllable of the sentence.

"You are what?"

"I'm in love with Alice. We're together."

"Together? You mean like a couple?"

I nodded my head and wiped my running nose on the back of my hand. Alice sighed and pulled a tissue out of her handbag.

"Please, stop crying. Everything is going to be okay."

"She's right and why are you crying anyway. You're not afraid of me not accepting you, are you?"

I sniffed and cleaned my nose. When I managed to raise my head again, her lips twitched into a warm smile and I sighed in relief. She wouldn't be smiling at me like that if she would be angry at me.

"You…you're okay with me being…I mean with me being with Alice?"

"Does she make you happy?"

"Yes she does."

"Well, that's all that counts for me."

"But you always wanted to pair me off with Mike."

"I wouldn't have done that if you had told me that you're not interested in dating men."

I leaned forward and spilled the entire content of Alice's coke all over the table.

"My daughter is a little bit clumsy." Renee stated, while she tried to wipe it up again with a cloth.

"Are you sure that you can handle that?"

XXXX

I sat down behind her on the picnic blanket and wrapped my arms around her. My fingertips moved over the pearly white skin on her neck and I felt her shiver under my caress.

"I love you."

"I love you too,"

She turned her head and cupped my face between her hands, stroking down my cheekbones until she reached the edge of my mouth.

"Can I kiss you now?" she asked me, her warm breath tickling the skin on my lower lip.

"Here?" I croaked out, almost starting to panic now. It was the middle of the day and the park where she had suggested holding our picnic was crowded with dozens of people.

When she felt me stiffen in her arms, she instantly pulled back. Her pretty face turned into an ugly frown and when she grabbed her jacket from the blanket I could see that her eyes looked glassy.

"Alice?"

"Leave me alone!"

I stood up and tried to put one arm on her shoulder but she quickly shook it off.

"Leave me alone! I can't do that anymore. You'll always be ashamed of me, of us. I can't handle that. I can't…I just can't."

She turned around in order to walk away but I grabbed her hand to keep her where she was.

"Please, don't go. How can just run away now? I told you that I love you. I told my mother about us. What in heaven's name do you expect from me, Alice?"

"I expect nothing from you,"

She tried to make her voice sound hard but it trembled and a heartbeat later she collapsed on the grass underneath us and started sobbing.

"You are ashamed of me,"

I pulled her quivering body against mine and let her cry against my shoulder, feeling how her tears soaked the fabric of my blouse. A sharp, almost unbearable pain went straight to my heart and I wondered if she was going to break up with me now.

"I'm not ashamed of you." I told her, my own voice, thick with the tears I was trying to hold back.

"You are the best thing that ever happened to me in my entire life. I want to be with you. God, I love you so much, Alice. How can you think that I could be ashamed of you?"

"Because you always keep worrying what people would think if we'd kiss in front of them,"

I sighed deeply and wiped some tears from her cheeks, trying not to smear her mascara all over her face.

"I'm worried about what people would think if they see us kissing." I told her, putting my forefinger against her warm lips to keep her from responding.

"That's not the same like being ashamed of you."

"Oh yes it is," she whispered hoarsely.

"No, it's not. Look, I know that you hate it that I'm not as open-hearted about my sexuality as you are. That doesn't mean I don't care about you. I want to be with you and I love you. I really do."

"I love you too; probably more that it is good for me. I'm terribly afraid of getting hurt."

"I'm not going to hurt you,"

"Please, Bella, how often will I have to tell you not to make a…,"

My mouth was on hers before she managed to finish the sentence and she's so surprised that she didn't even start to kiss me back before I pulled back about five seconds later.

"What was that supposed to be? Aren't you scared what people will think? What if someone saw you kissing me?"

"I would be horrified by that. I see how people look at gay couples…like they were some sort of freak or something like that."

"Then why did you kiss me, when you are so afraid whether people will approve of our relationship or not?"

I swallowed hard before I leaned forward and cupped her face gently between my hands, letting my thumb caress her full lower lip so lightly that I was barely touching her skin at all.

"There is one thing that I'm more afraid of than of what people might or might not think about us."

"And that would be?"

"Losing you, Alice; I've never been so happy before in my life and I don't' want to risk to lose that. I love you more than anything and that's the only thing that matters more to me than my fears,"

I kissed her again, feeling her smile against my lips before she kissed me back. Somewhere in the distance someone chuckled and for a split second I wondered if it was because of us.

Then I figured out that it didn't matter. All what mattered were her lips on mine, my tongue toying against hers and the sweet taste of her warm mouth.

It wasn't enough to end my fears, that would still be a long way to go and it made me wonder if I could expect her to go this way with me, to stop when I needed to stop without doubting my feelings for her.

So I pulled her closer, trying to put as much love into this kiss as possible and hoped that she would somehow be able to feel how much she meant to me.

We were in this together and together we could manage to overcome whatever was going to be.

XOXXOXXOXXOXO

[A/N] Leave me some love and press the little review button down there before you leave ;-)


End file.
